Stumbled on her website (via mike south's blog) and she has some great gossip from her days as a lady of the night.

A few quick highlights


On working with Bobby Vitale

Bobby Vitale, basically, raped me in a scene. He was fine all day, then just before the scene he went into the bathroom and came out a total weirdo. He wasn’t there anymore, behind his eyes, and when the scene started, I wasn’t there, to him. Hey, do what you want, but not what I don’t want when it involves me! Crazy, huh? I had never been raped in my life, but I got a glimpse, through that scene, of what it must be like. I semi-wished I’d been coked out, too, because I would have ripped his useless face off. For the most part, though, it was always a mature experience. Oh wait... Didn't Vitale's long time girlfriend Brianna Banks turn him into a cripple by running over him with her car? Someone told me that years ago. I actually laughed when I heard it, but only because I know he used to beat her. What a bastard!


Her life since porn

I am remarried and grounded in a way I have never been before. Of course, it took a few years of complete meltdowns, psychosis, debt, rolling pennies to eat, visiting the cash advance places to pay bills, alcoholism, anger, and finally distance from a crazy world, to be reunited with myself. Now all I care about is my family, my art and life and joining them as much as possible.

Future Goals

writing and well, I would like to live to be eighty. And the only good reason I can think of is, because I haven’t done it, yet.

On her first scene and what it was like with Teagan favorite Ed Powers

Ed was nice enough, but he smelled really bad and he kept screaming at his "camera girl" through the whole thing because the shots weren't in focus. Obviously, she was a model and he was being cheap by not hiring a professional to shoot camera. It was all somewhat amusing, but not a great experience.



Theres a few others im missing im sure, but a great find with some honesty about the highs but mostly lows of her days as a porn performer.



side note: Julie Meadows performed with the Pornly trinity of career low/killers in ed powers, max hardcore and ron jeremy. Yikes.

Pretty crazy. I once met Julie Meadows and Christi Lake at a signing and all I could think was damn these two are high as a kite, lol. Not long after that I think Julie retired, and it was the first time I was happy to see a chick retire from the biz because she looked so damn run down.

Now this is some interesting shit!

Not a bunch of banal bs about Christian's ex-gf or some such.

Here's another good one:

I went back and told Jim about this shady guy and Jim just looked through me like he was thinking about the developing hemrhoid on his sphincter.

Her general bio has some good laughs too.

"I would have made a good teacher, psychiatrist or counselor. I’m a good listener and I’m crazy, myself, so I sympathize with people who have mental and emotional angst."

"I was a tomboy, so I hung out with the guys. Playing with dolls meant setting them on fire to see what would happen."

"I met a director at a club I was stripping at in Texas, he gave me his card and I contacted him about six months later. If you know who the director is, great. If you don't, I won't say. I once had stomach pains during a scene and he told me later that he was worried…because he was afraid he'd have to re-shoot the scene. "

Here's a good one in her blog.

" If you are not familiar with this, let me tell you something: NEVER MIX ALCOHOL AND COCAINE!!! Never. It is dangerous, and I’ll tell you why.

The first few times that I mixed too much of it, I blacked out. I didn’t pass out, I blacked out. The engine continued to run….but with who there? I don’t know who. I have no clue who. Is it Ambient that does that, too? Some other drug that keeps you unconsciously going if you take it and don’t go to sleep right away? The first few ties didn’t matter because I continued to be a joy. A ‘sex fiend’, I think Doug called it. I would guess, a very primitive part of my brain was given complete autonomy over my vessel, and went slut wild, much to Doug’s bliss.

The next few times, that was not the case. The next few times there was no sex fiend. Only bitch on wheels!

The first evil personality went for a drive on a busy Saturday night. I half remember this, but I don’t remember most of the actual drive, which is scary. Still, it didn’t seem that crazy because I’ve done crazier shit.

The second time, the evildoer tried to stab my husband with a broken wine glass. She did not succeed, and I have not done cocaine since then. I don’t think I have…"

Her mole always distracted me.