I've had some experience with Xanax and it's always given me amnesia. Recreationally, I'd take a few of those .25's you have there, if you have no tolerance to benzos, then move up. That's as small as they come.

And, yes, mellow or calming is the best way to describe the high. Some claim euphoric results. I often mixed them with alcohol, though I respect your position here. Benzos are addictive, so be careful.