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#432856 - 06/28/09 08:23 PM
Porn secrets
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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So, I was listening to Satellite Radio on a long drive home this weekend and Howard Stern was talking about how men should never tell their wives/girlfriends what kind of porn they like. I agreed completely and wondered what people on a Porn Industry discussion forum like this thought about his advice.
I have pretty "plain vanilla" taste in porn, but I never have, and never would, show my girlfriend any of the porn I am into. I have had a couple of girlfriends ask me about it, but I have always lied.
Just wondering, do you share your porn interests with your wife or girlfriend?
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#432858 - 06/28/09 08:56 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 07/31/08
Posts: 121
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Kind of stupid if you don't tell her from the start. Wouldn't you want your woman to share in your fantasies? Also what if she likes the same shit?
Doesn't mean you want her getting gangbaned or bukkaked. It just means you enjoy watching certain porn.
Me and my girlfriend love watching porn. We've been together 8 years and are have a great time watching it together. She picks her porn and I pick mine. Sometimes we have the same tastes and other times our tastes in porn are different. But that's what make's it interesting.
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#432860 - 06/28/09 09:37 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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Quote:
Kind of stupid if you don't tell her from the start. Wouldn't you want your woman to share in your fantasies? Also what if she likes the same shit?
Doesn't mean you want her getting gangbaned or bukkaked. It just means you enjoy watching certain porn.
Me and my girlfriend love watching porn. We've been together 8 years and are have a great time watching it together. She picks her porn and I pick mine. Sometimes we have the same tastes and other times our tastes in porn are different. But that's what make's it interesting.
I think you hit the nail on the head.
No, I really don't want to have a relationship with a woman who is into porn like me, and I only like watching the type of porn I am into.
I don't mind dating a woman who is into the same porn as me, I don't mind having sex with a woman who is into porn, I don't mind renting a porn whore for the night, I just wouldn't want them raising my children.
Most women like sex, yet most women don't want their significant other watching movies of women having sex (something they enjoy doing), it is contradictory, but it is true. That is why I agree with Stern's advice.
Some women don't mind if their boyfriend watches women having sex, some women are swingers, some women are prostitutes, some women are porn stars, and some don't mind watching porn themselves, I get that, but aren't they all the vast minority??
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#432861 - 06/28/09 11:47 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 1248
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Thats kinda weird that you'd put women who dont mind if their boyfriends/husbands watch porn or watching it themselves in the same category as prostitutes, swingers and porn stars. Vast minority? Maybe in mega prude ville, population: the only women you know. I'd reevaluate that madonna/whore complex you got going on there.
This one guy I dated for like, a second, stands out above all the rest in that he totally made me feel like the dirtiest whore ever. I went through his computer one time to see what kind of porn he liked and I came across this video, it was of this girl playing the piano and slowly stripping naked. That was it.  His internet history was full of pro-amateur soft core solo girl sites. It was like his sexual interested never evolved past his 12 year old mind. I ended up showing him his first hardcore movie ever, he asked me, "where's the cheesy music?"
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#432864 - 06/29/09 05:40 AM
Re: Porn secrets
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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Quote:
Thats kinda weird that you'd put women who dont mind if their boyfriends/husbands watch porn or watching it themselves in the same category as prostitutes, swingers and porn stars. Vast minority? Maybe in mega prude ville, population: the only women you know. I'd reevaluate that madonna/whore complex you got going on there.
This one guy I dated for like, a second, stands out above all the rest in that he totally made me feel like the dirtiest whore ever. I went through his computer one time to see what kind of porn he liked and I came across this video, it was of this girl playing the piano and slowly stripping naked. That was it. His internet history was full of pro-amateur soft core solo girl sites. It was like his sexual interested never evolved past his 12 year old mind. I ended up showing him his first hardcore movie ever, he asked me, "where's the cheesy music?"
Well, actually I was trying to group them together, sure, but I was going more for a spectrum from mild (watches porn) to more intense (makes porn) not suggest that watching porn is the same thing as being in one.
Yes, it is a "Madonna/Whore" complex. It is also good common sense dating advice. Believe it or not, most women are not turned on by guys who watch porn. I am sure some women love the idea that their boyfriend is a huge Max Hardcore fan, but most aren't.
I think a better analogy is what do you tell your wife when she asks if you think she looks fat and ugly when she is 8 months pregnant. You may want to have an honest, loving relationship where you can tell each other the truth about anything, but no matter what you really think, you better tell her she looks beautiful. That is just common sense relationship advice.
If your girlfriend asks you if "these pants make my ass look too big", you may (or may not) think they do, but it is bad dating advice to tell her that they do.
If your girlfriend asks you what kind of porn you watch, it is good dating advice to tell her you really aren't that in to porn, and you look at the occasional Playboy whether that is true or not.
These are just my opinions, if you think it is a good idea to leave your porn movies on the shelf with your other dvd's and keep your eastern European piss magazines on your coffee table when you bring your dates home, that's your prerogative, I was just askin'.
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#432869 - 06/29/09 02:59 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 07/14/08
Posts: 787
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Quote:
Thats kinda weird that you'd put women who dont mind if their boyfriends/husbands watch porn or watching it themselves in the same category as prostitutes, swingers and porn stars. Vast minority? Maybe in mega prude ville, population: the only women you know. I'd reevaluate that madonna/whore complex you got going on there.
This one guy I dated for like, a second, stands out above all the rest in that he totally made me feel like the dirtiest whore ever. I went through his computer one time to see what kind of porn he liked and I came across this video, it was of this girl playing the piano and slowly stripping naked. That was it. His internet history was full of pro-amateur soft core solo girl sites. It was like his sexual interested never evolved past his 12 year old mind. I ended up showing him his first hardcore movie ever, he asked me, "where's the cheesy music?"
stalker warning... 
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#432872 - 06/29/09 04:17 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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I worked for several years managing stock at a XXX shop. The subject tends to come up and I'm always honest about it.
Discussions about porn tend to follow. Though I will never forget the look on one of my girlfriends faces when she discovered a copy of "Bug Eater 2: Cockroach Eating Girl" on my computer.
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#432873 - 06/29/09 04:20 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 1248
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I think there's two variables here were giving full respect to: the type of woman and the type of porn. I guess you could simplify and say there are two types of women who ask "What kind of porn do you watch?" the kind who are genuinely curious and unthreatened by pornography, and the kind who are looking for reassurance that you dont watch porn. I think the latter equate nicely with your analogy of not telling your girlfriend that her butt looks big in her pants, but I don't think those types of girls are the vast majority. Maybe it's just the company I keep, but I cant think of a single female that I know personally that is really bothered by the idea of her man watching porn. It's just common knowledge that most men do. I think lying to the former would just annoy her in that it implies you underestimate her ability to recognize this and the amount of security she has in herself to be okay with that. At least that how i'd feel.
Then there's the type of porn you watch. Yes, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to lie to your girl if you watch max hardcore, meatholes or pissmops, with exceptions of course. But you, E Y, stated earlier that you watch rather vanilla type porn, so what's the big deal? Like I was trying to illustrate in my story, I was far more weirded out by the one boyfriend who had a ridiculously tame taste in porn compared to the others who I perceived as relatively normal. Of course i have almost daily interaction with men wanting to buy my fecal matter so perhaps by perception of what is normal is skewed entirely.
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#432875 - 06/29/09 04:45 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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Nope, no sugar coating ever.
Check out a review of Bug Eater 2: Cockroach Eating Girl
As of this post the server is down. But I remember a line about "pure psychic pain".
I always let women snoop my computer if they want, but I warn them that they might not like what they find inside.
@EY: link to box cover.
Edited by conquistador (06/29/09 04:50 PM)
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#432877 - 06/29/09 04:53 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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Quote:
I think there's two variables here were giving full respect to: the type of woman and the type of porn. I guess you could simplify and say there are two types of women who ask "What kind of porn do you watch?" the kind who are genuinely curious and unthreatened by pornography, and the kind who are looking for reassurance that you dont watch porn. I think the latter equate nicely with your analogy of not telling your girlfriend that her butt looks big in her pants, but I don't think those types of girls are the vast majority. Maybe it's just the company I keep, but I cant think of a single female that I know personally that is really bothered by the idea of her man watching porn. It's just common knowledge that most men do. I think lying to the former would just annoy her in that it implies you underestimate her ability to recognize this and the amount of security she has in herself to be okay with that. At least that how i'd feel.
OK, so maybe I didn't do a very good job of explaining that I was not advocating lying about if you watch porn, but rather to minimize the specifics.
Quote:
Then there's the type of porn you watch. Yes, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to lie to your girl if you watch max hardcore, meatholes or pissmops, with exceptions of course. But you, E Y, stated earlier that you watch rather vanilla type porn, so what's the big deal?
This is, in fact, the very heart of my argument. Who is to say that what I consider plain vanilla sex is the same thing as what you consider plain vanilla sex. This is the basis of my advice to lie to your girlfriend. A guy should be smart enough not to get caught in that trap of trying to defend why the porn he likes really isn't as bad as his screaming, crying, wide-eyed girlfriend thinks it is.
Quote:
Of course i have almost daily interaction with men wanting to buy my fecal matter so perhaps by perception of what is normal is skewed entirely.
 OK, I have no idea if you are joking or serious, but I think we can safely assume that your idea of vanilla sex probably is different than mine.
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#432878 - 06/29/09 05:05 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
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Maybe my idea of "a relationship" is different from yours. Are you talking about a relationship where you live with the person or is this someone you only see once in a while.
How do you live with someone and they don't know what kind of porn you watch? Are you on some sneaking around steaze when she's off to work?
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.
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#432880 - 06/29/09 05:19 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
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I like how you ignore both my posts. I suppose in your hypothetical universe am also invisible which thus means it doesn't really matter what I'd do.
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.
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#432881 - 06/29/09 05:24 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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I would not date/be involved with such a person.
I have before, never again.
I like some pretty weird shit and while I won't subject someone to something they don't want to see it's not going to keep me from owning and appreciating it.
I think pretty much every aspect of human sexuality is fascinating.
In regards to circus acts like Bug Eater I view them as kind of "a sight to behold" and not spank worthy porn.
When I meet a woman I don't say "hi, nice to meet you, you're gonna cream your panties over my collection of anal fisting videos". But if my porn (I like lots of rough non-porn stuff, too) is a deal breaker for her then she can fuck off. Same deal with my music collection (I have lots of bad, racist hardcore, violent misogynistic grindcore...). But if something that I find some value in or appreciate is a deal breaker for her then I guess it's a deal breaker.
I demand to feel comfortable being myself around a partner. If a DVD of some hard porn would be poisonous to a relationship then I'm not interested in getting involved.
I'm comfortable in my own skin and would not date a woman who had such hang-ups.
Plus, I have already seen and enjoyed the porn that would be offensive to her, it's not like I can scrub it from my brain or forget about what I was because she finds it distasteful.
Hope that made sense.
Also, my feelings do not involve getting mocked or teased about any go the things I enjoy. I'm sure any women likes stuff that I'll feel compelled to tease her about. She can go ahead and make fun of my all she wants.
I just wouldn't want to be with anyone who defines me through my possessions/tastes instead of how I behave.
Edited by conquistador (06/29/09 05:55 PM)
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#432884 - 06/29/09 05:53 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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To me it means that interest in items other than pornography might also spoil a relationship the same way you mentioned.
Example: I am not going to hide my Ian Fleming books because I met a girl who doesn't like James Bond.
Or my Anal Cunt albums because she hates stupid grindcore music.
And so on.
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#432887 - 06/29/09 06:26 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
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Actually I meant something like literature or art which is classified as pornography due to it's transgressive nature. I read books and have art which is classified as pornographic yet it isn't necessarily about two people engaged in coitus.
You said you were once with a woman that didn't like you watching porn but knew you did it. I think what most women fear is that men turn into blithering idiots when they watch porn, lustfully craving for the porn whores and willing to spend their last dollar to be with them. As soon as a woman senses competition then you get the scenario where you're given an ultimatum or she leaves.
As for your problems: I believe it's up to you. You can give up porn to satisfy this girl if you think she's worth it (a few people from here did and left forever). I just really think the whole sneaking around thing is kind of silly though it's probably the route many resort to.
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.
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#432890 - 06/29/09 07:37 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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Quote:
Actually I meant something like literature or art which is classified as pornography due to it's transgressive nature. I read books and have art which is classified as pornographic yet it isn't necessarily about two people engaged in coitus.
You said you were once with a woman that didn't like you watching porn but knew you did it. I think what most women fear is that men turn into blithering idiots when they watch porn, lustfully craving for the porn whores and willing to spend their last dollar to be with them. As soon as a woman senses competition then you get the scenario where you're given an ultimatum or she leaves.
As for your problems: I believe it's up to you. You can give up porn to satisfy this girl if you think she's worth it (a few people from here did and left forever). I just really think the whole sneaking around thing is kind of silly though it's probably the route many resort to.
I don't think it is a personal issue at all, I just thought it was a good bit of advice for guys who sometimes forget that men and women are different.
It is a lot like advising guys not to post pictures of themselves online (like their myspace or facebook page) without a shirt on, flexing their muscles. An immature or unwise young man might think that if he likes seeing pictures of women without their clothes on, and since he wants a red-blooded heterosexual young woman who is into men and likes sex, he'll post a "hot" picture of himself online with his shirt off and the women will love it. Some women get all wet and horny seeing a picture of a guy without his shirt on, but most do not.
Furthermore, I'd say that most average guys don't really want a woman who "responds" to pictures of strange guys with their shirts off online, or who gives out her phone number to guys who whistle at her on the street, or who gets off on your "Throat Gaggers" movies as much as you do.
I do think it is wise advice though, and if I ever have a son, I will tell him that men and women are different, and an example of one of those differences is that most women are not into porn in the same way men are, just like the way most guys are not into shoes the way women are. I will tell my daughter that guys really aren't into shoe shopping and she probably doesn't want to start dating guys who are into women's shoes as much as she is. Sharing porn is a lot like shoe shopping--most of the time one person in the relationship is more into it than the other and it usually splits along gender lines.
I would tell my son not to scratch his balls while talking to his girlfriend's mother, not to send pictures of his dick to a woman hoping to impress her and turn her on, and not to offer to share his porn collection with his girlfriend just because she asks what he likes. Maybe in an established relationship you can start to let things gradually "leak out" over time, but not at the beginning.
I don't mind dating a woman who can drink me under the table, and who belches and farts with abandon, but I don't want to marry one. I feel the same way about porn. I don't want to marry "one of the guys" or my drinking buddy or even somebody just like me.
I don't begrudge you or any other man or woman on the planet from being in a relationship with whoever makes you happy though.
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#432891 - 06/29/09 08:02 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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Quote:
music and art can be just as purulent, harsh and carry just as much emotional baggage. Would you leave a Peter Sotos book lying on your coffee table when bringing a girl home from a first date?
DISCLAMER: (I don't personally own any Peter Sotos books)
I don't know anything about Peter Sotos. I wouldn't leave my dirty underwear on the coffee table either, but it just isn't the same thing as leaving porn there.
I cut out a big paragraph in that last post about my ex, her feelings against porn and her background. Her mother was an English professor at an ivy league university and she was an art history major. She was very accepting of all sorts of pornography if it was called literature or art and she was very open sexually, but she felt porn was "disrespectful".
Anyway, I thought of her because I respected her as a person and liked the fact that she was not into porn like me. It was the point in my life when I realized that I love pornstars, I could date a pornstar any day of the week, but that really ain't what I'm looking for. I may be wrong, but outside of XPT, I bet more guys are like me than not. For guys like that, take my advice, don't break out the Max Hardcore videos when your girlfriend asks you what type of porn you watch.
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#432892 - 06/29/09 08:05 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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I've always been honest about my porn likes. While it surely has driven off some, it's actually given me a kind of intimacy with girls who are/were curious about porn. I had a black fuckbuddy in the 90s and she used to bring over tapes she recently bought. All of them were of black girls and white guys. She especially liked being humilated by white men. I had this very curious but outwardly prudish friend in college. We had a complicated sexual relationship since I was in line to be best man at her wedding. I took her to the one and only porn theatre in the area where she saw her first porn films. She was anal-phobic and kept thinking that anal sex was happening when it was not. She lasted a good 15-20 minutes during the main feature, but started to cry and then bolted when the lesbian sex began. But, it did loosen her up a bit. She had a very slutty best friend and once when they were both drunk they let me finger both at the same time. She even sucked off my finger from her friend [getting her to do anything lesbian was a HUGE fantasy of mine]. In the end, I fell DEEPLY in love with her, she went back to her fiance, and I was left a broken shell. 
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Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#432894 - 06/29/09 08:29 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 1248
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I guess we all have our tastes EY. Personally, I would never want to be with a guy who was bothered by the idea of me liking the same porn he did. What an odd double standard.
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#432895 - 06/29/09 08:42 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/16/09
Posts: 3703
Loc: Sleeping through my funeral
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Quote:
Quote:
music and art can be just as purulent, harsh and carry just as much emotional baggage. Would you leave a Peter Sotos book lying on your coffee table when bringing a girl home from a first date?
DISCLAMER: (I don't personally own any Peter Sotos books)
I don't know anything about Peter Sotos. I wouldn't leave my dirty underwear on the coffee table either, but it just isn't the same thing as leaving porn there.
I cut out a big paragraph in that last post about my ex, her feelings against porn and her background. Her mother was an English professor at an ivy league university and she was an art history major. She was very accepting of all sorts of pornography if it was called literature or art and she was very open sexually, but she felt porn was "disrespectful".
Anyway, I thought of her because I respected her as a person and liked the fact that she was not into porn like me. It was the point in my life when I realized that I love pornstars, I could date a pornstar any day of the week, but that really ain't what I'm looking for. I may be wrong, but outside of XPT, I bet more guys are like me than not. For guys like that, take my advice, don't break out the Max Hardcore videos when your girlfriend asks you what type of porn you watch.
This gets into the realm of bringing up the same endless argument about what is considered art and what is considered pure rubbish with no redeeming social value. Where do you draw the line? Viennese Actionism? Marque De Sade? G.G. Allin?
_________________________
Leave your mind open, receptive to the demons message.
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#432897 - 06/29/09 09:03 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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Quote:
Quote:
I would never want to be with a guy who was bothered by the idea of me liking the same porn he did.
Maybe he likes gay and tranny porn.
If she knew she was dating a potential Larry Craig or Jim McGreevey, she'd likely run.
Well, I'm not into that, but, thanks, you have made an excellent point! I am angry I didn't think of that example!
What if you are a heterosexual man who loves tranny porn? Apparently there is enough of a market out there that they make tons of tranny porn. Don't we have a guy here that is in a relationship with a woman but acts in tranny porn?
So, some poor sucker buys into the whole propaganda that men should share their porn preferences with their girlfriend... then his naive young sweetie is feeling a bit frisky and wants to show her new boyfriend that she can be daring and sexy and asks if her boyfriend wants to watch a porno to get in the mood...
... then Alex Panzer breaks out a footlocker full of tranny porn, and while she screams, recoils in horror, and starts putting her clothes back on, he begins to explain, "but, honey, the guys on XPT said I should share my videos with you!"
Trust me, the same scenario takes place with porn a lot more mainstream than tranny porn.
Guys, take my advice, lie about your porn habits and you will have a much happier relationship.
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#432898 - 06/29/09 10:05 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 144
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#432902 - 06/29/09 10:30 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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#432903 - 06/30/09 12:05 AM
Re: Porn secrets
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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lol I don't think a girl would believe a guy if he said he didn't watch porn. But maybe guys should have some vanilla lovemaking junk ready to pop in if she wants to watch porn one day. If she laughs at it and says you watch sissy porn, maybe she's into the hardcore stuff--you never know. 
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#432905 - 07/01/09 05:33 PM
Re: Porn secrets
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 02/12/08
Posts: 4580
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E.Y.Davis might have a problem.
Men and women aren't different in their personalities. They just get brainwashed differently until they decide that no more conditioner is needed, disregard the matter as non-existent or become part of some meager alternative circle to find out that certain annoyances merely are named and justified differently there, where the cool people hang. Societal nonsense is deep like a toilet and technical like a fork. Those not only pretending to not give a shit about anything fare better. Really.
Men and women watch porn, get comfortable with it, hypocrites. When John thinks his shit is too rough for Jane to handle, he is a deluded mental wreck with a partner who believes too much of what is pretended to be acceptable, but not really practiced. What is fine and what is not is generally the opposite of what is pretended to be. It is very simple.
Remainders of an upbringing full of lies and faked ideals will be found anywhere in varying degrees. Puritanical morality is a disease to be eradicated. Its preachers fuck around, fuck their children, fuck other people's children, rape, abuse and take illegal drugs just like the rest of the farm. The attitude is the same, the amount of phony bullshit is different.
People who are desperate enough to be in a relationship with someone dictating the terms for pussy, anus, mouth or dick usage in correlation with porn consumption are fucked up.
People who think that they should be enough for their partner, from whom is demanded not to watch porn, are insecure idiots analogising themselves with a piece of the entertainment industry.
Please stop discussions not including core matters in favour of fascade. Now.
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