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I voted deranged mother of two, though I've heard it from someone with some knowledge on the subject that only one of the two kids was ripped from HER belly. Where the other one is from is a matter of some conjecture ....

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Just make sure the child support payments are sent out every month I am picturing a chubby little kid with a tin foil hat and pictures of little kitties on his p.j.'s
He is yours fatman