We have to be realistic about military culture and mentality. A military's only purpose is to kill people and destroy things, not to be a social utopia.

Imagine a high school football team. Most teams probably have at least one or two closet gays. It's not an issue because they keep quiet and coaches don't discuss sex as part of their official duties. Now imagine if a pc school board butted in and said "openly gay students must now be allowed on the football team" and then flamboyant activists from the school gay club showed up for practice wearing guyliner and talking like Richard Simmons. Don't you think this would be disruptive of the team's goal (winning football games)?

"Don't ask, don't tell" is an effective compromise. What does the fact that you like men's booty holes rather than women's have to do with the job or the military's goals? Nothing. It is not unreasonable to ask ALL in the military to refrain from making an issue of or speaking about their sex lives/preferences.