Fucked up childhood?

Where to begin?

How about my humble beginnings as smut peddlar in high school when my father's ex-porn magazine collection ended up my own and I was pawning it out to poor schmucks who didn't have the balls to go out and purchase their own.

But most of my "fucked up" experiences happened after the teenage blooming period (or so it is supposed to be called) so that doesn't count and shouldn't be posted here!