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#423451 - 05/12/09 08:46 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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I am turned on by hot women who have sex with digusting pigs, this is a recent thing for me and there are exceptions such as ron jermey doesn't count unless hes banging a real top star which is few and far between. Some of my favorites include
Jenaveve Jolie and that fat latino guy who died of a dope overdose a few years ago, for one of those getting caught by the fake husband scenes
Amy Reid and Joe Pusher, in her very first scene from some fat pig called joe pusher who got her in the biz through the "be a model" ads
and although I haven't seen it, the thought of the minion with jessi summers and or Lexi belle which I believe he hinted at.
I once had one of those farts that actually explode into runny shit moments before a mile school race when I was 12 and ran the entire race with shit filled panties. First and only time it has happened and I still can't understand why or how.
I jerked off to roseanne once to see if i could get off on her, and I did.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#423452 - 05/12/09 08:47 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Pervert
Registered: 12/26/07
Posts: 2056
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Forgive me monkey for I have sinned. Last night, I jerked off to the nekkid pictures of electro that she sent me earlier. I really did not want to do it because she's my friend, but the sight of her cute little pussy and sweet ass cheeks was just too much for me. I couldn't resist.
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"If you keep making fun of me, I might just get pissed and not post on here anymore. Start taking me seriously. I'm a student now" Fatja
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#423455 - 05/12/09 09:13 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other?.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it ,
Trusting that You will mak e all things right,
If I surrender to Your will ,
So that I may b e reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
As for teh siggy... Oh my! What a Croc...
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"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#423457 - 05/12/09 09:29 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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payherrape said:Quote:
XXX Porn Talk I have sinned.
I have craved Gia even though she hates my guts.
Something in her snarky writing, and total ice cold attitude.
Come on babe, stoop to conquor.
You forgot something!
Pour one for teh homies...
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other?.
Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it , Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will , So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#423458 - 05/12/09 09:41 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 05/01/06
Posts: 502
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#423459 - 05/12/09 09:53 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Pervert
Registered: 12/26/07
Posts: 2056
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Sweet Monkey..there's no way these guys are not somehow related to AC Cream.
_________________________
"If you keep making fun of me, I might just get pissed and not post on here anymore. Start taking me seriously. I'm a student now" Fatja
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#423461 - 05/12/09 10:22 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 467
Loc: Yankee Stadium
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Quote:
Official Monkey Cage Confessional Booth.
Where you can reveal your darkest sins or something??
I happened in that booth- How did you know!
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#423462 - 05/12/09 11:44 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 02/12/08
Posts: 4580
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Quote:
I happened in that booth- How did you know!
Pedophiles are a tight bunch. They chat, brag and laugh.
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#423464 - 05/12/09 12:51 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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I banged a Jewish girl on Easter. Does this earn me a gold star from Jesus?
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#423465 - 05/12/09 01:28 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Yes... yes it does my son. Bonus stars if you choked her out and brought her back.
Now someone smart-like make a shroud of turin joke. go.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#423467 - 05/12/09 06:25 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Quote:
The pattern made by the monkey smilies in statics post looks like a map of Delaware. My confession? I notice useless stuff like that.
I was actually thinking Minnesota. Damn.
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Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#423468 - 05/12/09 06:27 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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I made out with and fingered a girl next to the big air conditioning units outside my church when I was younger. Surprisingly, it didn't seem wrong at the time.
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#423469 - 05/12/09 06:30 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Why, does it seem wrong now?
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#423470 - 05/12/09 06:32 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Yes. Yes it does. We cut the service to go outside.
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#423471 - 05/12/09 10:51 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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#423472 - 05/13/09 12:42 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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I went to a private screening of The Girlfriend Experience this afternoon and liked the movie. :ducks as the cage throws stuff:
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#423473 - 05/13/09 01:27 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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crocodile, why did you delete your post?
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#423474 - 05/13/09 01:36 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Pervert
Registered: 12/26/07
Posts: 2056
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^^^It's not polite to be snarky in the confessional booth.
_________________________
"If you keep making fun of me, I might just get pissed and not post on here anymore. Start taking me seriously. I'm a student now" Fatja
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#423475 - 05/13/09 05:48 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Skurt was right. I AM Jim South.
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#423477 - 05/13/09 07:34 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 467
Loc: Yankee Stadium
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Quote:
I made out with and fingered a girl next to the big air conditioning units outside my church when I was younger. Surprisingly, it didn't seem wrong at the time.
That is no way to treat your little sister !!
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#423479 - 05/13/09 11:24 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Whoremaster
Registered: 06/22/07
Posts: 2656
Loc: Polekatz, Rte 43
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Rlectro = Jiraiya
_________________________
"You have been banned from making any new posts or sending private messages. The reason for this ban is: meh, cause i can"
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#423480 - 05/13/09 08:27 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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#423481 - 05/15/09 09:42 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/16/09
Posts: 3703
Loc: Sleeping through my funeral
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I keep Jimmy Hoffa's wrist watch in my desk drawer as a souvenir.
_________________________
Leave your mind open, receptive to the demons message.
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#423487 - 05/17/09 08:26 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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No, I pluck it. Pain is beauty.
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#423489 - 05/19/09 12:27 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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Ummmm I gave bjs and handjobs for about a year before I had sex because I felt like I should try to be a good girl as long as I could. Once I finally lost my V, I knew there was no turning back. I realized I could go after all his hot roommates too. They were older and better. I was major jailbait, but I never got anyone in trouble... Thinking back on it, my first time kinda sucked. It was quick, he was wack, and we did it on a matress with no box spring. But I guess he lit a fire under my ass.
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#423491 - 05/19/09 12:51 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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Hah! That's a great picture because he would get that down-syndrome look on his face every once in a while, especially when drunk. He was lame. Boo. I had just turned 16 and started driving. That was the week of my first FFM threesome too. But that was with his roommate. It's weird because years later the guy actually works down the street from me at the Comedy Store. I duck if I see him.
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#423493 - 05/19/09 10:53 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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I wish I could give you something better than this. I should lie (like usual) but I'm pretty sure he's just a lowly bouncer/doorman or something like that. They all wear the same Tshirts. Speaking of comedy clubs, I was at the Laugh Factory and Judge Orroro or whatever the fuck his name is sent me a vodka/cranberry from his platform when I was watching that comedy court show... I wouldn't have fucked him though, he was wearing sandals with his gown.
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#423494 - 05/19/09 10:56 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 1326
Loc: Yosisterisawhore, CA
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#423495 - 05/20/09 02:47 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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I had my first G/B/G threesome when I was 13. We were super wasted and cutting class at my boyfriend's house (he was 18). I remember being pissed off because she had alot of hair down there. She said she was a "virgin".
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#423496 - 05/20/09 11:22 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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Wow, I didn't even have my first real kiss until I was like 13. But he was 19. I met him at Disneyland. We made out in the Haunted Mansion.
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#423497 - 05/21/09 04:50 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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I started out young. I remember always kissing boys when I was in pre-school, obviously I had a hard time making friends. They thought I had cooties. I managed to have one boy like me his name was Joey. He used to tell people I was his girlfriend. Fool. He had a crush on me all the way through middle school, until he realized I was too much of a slut to date a nice guy like him... I remember kissing some guy I met at Knott's. We kissed in the Kingdom of the Dinosaurs ride. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NriQbh6nj4E^Call me boring but it was one of the best rides ever. I wish it was still around. My kids would've loved it, they love dinosaurs as much as I do...
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#423499 - 05/21/09 06:10 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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^^ I confess...Last time I had sex all I could think of was this... Does that make me a horrible person?
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#423501 - 05/22/09 12:31 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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#423502 - 05/22/09 01:03 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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Yes honestly I do enjoy it very much, with toys or even a cock. The best way for me to describe it is feeling invaded and on fire with pleasure at the same time. It takes a little bit for me to warm up but it does feel really good. It makes my pussy feel tingly and warm, even hot, like it's on fire. I get goosebumps at the same time, which is kinda weird. But I will say, I believe in anal orgasms now. The crap feeling thing is funny. I know a girl who describes anal sex in a similar way. She says it's like shitting bricks in reverse. My first anal experience wasn't the best. I probably looked like this
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#423505 - 05/22/09 07:00 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Whoremaster
Registered: 06/22/07
Posts: 2656
Loc: Polekatz, Rte 43
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It's interestring that so many people had their earliest sexual experiences at theme parks. Recently (in this thread and others) we've heard Disneyland, Disneyworld, Knotts Berry and one or two others I can't remember right now.
As a youngster Coke got scored some of his first poon at a Six Flags.
_________________________
"You have been banned from making any new posts or sending private messages. The reason for this ban is: meh, cause i can"
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#423507 - 05/22/09 11:32 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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#423508 - 05/22/09 11:45 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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Which part, reverse brick-shitting? Or hot and tingly pussy/feeling invaded?
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#423510 - 05/22/09 11:59 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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I wonder what other PWs and girls in general feel like when they get their asses reamed. Especially the ones who are really quiet or overly fake.
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#423512 - 05/23/09 12:15 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 898
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Monkey, does anal sex feel better for men or is it just special because it's in the ass?
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#423513 - 05/23/09 12:18 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 08/25/04
Posts: 449
Loc: illy-noise
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Re: FUCK YOU From: Smelly Monkey I love you bitch
_________________________
Re: FUCK YOU
From: Smelly Monkey
I love you bitch
FUCK YOU LOOKN AT?
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#423515 - 05/23/09 12:24 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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My ghey friend says, anal is great because it feels good on his prostate or someshit,(no pun)... He encourages I try it again, I'm fucking terrified and probably will never do it.
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#423517 - 05/23/09 07:26 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
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Nice stealth tomahawk in there Monkey. It reminds me of Ed Ames on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.
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I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
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#423518 - 05/23/09 10:16 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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...
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#423519 - 05/23/09 09:52 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 11/19/06
Posts: 310
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Quote:
My ghey friend says, anal is great because it feels good on his prostate or someshit,(no pun)... He encourages I try it again, I'm fucking terrified and probably will never do it.
Let us know how it feels on your prostate.
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#423520 - 05/28/09 05:00 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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^I realized I posted as a male a couple of times, I apologize. I confess. I created electrostatic so I could talk about anything meanwhile get to know the deep dark secrets of male xpt posters. Love, Monks.
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#423521 - 05/28/09 02:47 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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^ We're still on for the laundry mat sechs Sunday morning, yes?. I'm fucken dying to splash my coloreds all over your whites.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#423524 - 05/29/09 04:44 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
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#423525 - 05/29/09 09:28 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Best Stones reference I've seen in a while.
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#423527 - 05/31/09 03:32 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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That was good bdm. Very funny. Of course I'm going to have to enter your house at night and slit your fucken throat with your AARP card, but ya, funny.
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i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#423529 - 06/01/09 05:38 AM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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There's always the medicare card.
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#423531 - 06/01/09 03:47 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Spelling errors are overrated & 2nd to txt tlk.
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#423532 - 06/01/09 04:09 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
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...but texting is passe once you enter 12th grade !
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I may not know arse but I know what I like !
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#423534 - 06/01/09 07:30 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Malice, you drink? I'm appauled!!
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Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#423536 - 06/01/09 08:34 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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I didn't talk about them, BDM did, I gots an excuse, I'm drunky, fucker!
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Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#423537 - 06/02/09 01:33 PM
Re: Monkey Cage Confessional Booth
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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In 3 years Eric has never cared about much about spelling. That's much more my thing. But, I usually do it to see if the person can take a playful jibe.
IMHO, Eric's sarcasm is more "Google is your friend".
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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