i need to believe that women are lower even than i am, because it's more comfortable to think about how worthless they are than it is to think about all the things i find unsatisfactory about myself, or how i'm convinced they won't give me attention because of how worthless i am.

also, i've always had a crush on debra winger, ever since i was little. i don't feel these things are related, but i was just thinking about that, and didn't think it was worth starting a whole new thread. but i have to say, if she were to give me attention, i would treat her right. my parents are divorced, and i've always felt it was completely my father's fault. i've resented him for years. feels good to get all this out there.