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This part gets me.

We decided to stop at the bank to see how my paperwork was coming along to finally open a bank account.

Either you fill out paperwork and open an account on the spot or you don't. What's with paperwork coming along? Is this some bizarre poor hillbilly ritual?

I think they just look at someone like her and know they're going to have to do an in depth investigation with chexsystem (the collection outfit that handles deadbeats who overdraw their accounts.)
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Why do you black guys like to ruin white girls? I guess for the same reason you like to ruin white neighborhoods. -NitneLiun