.
XXX Porn Talk Navigation Home The Message Board Chat Room Chat Transcripts Contact Information Log In/Out
.
JM Toys and More!!
JM Toys and More!!
New Release This Week
New DVD Release at JerkOffZone.com
VOD / Download Links
JM Downloads/VOD
XPT VOD
Gamelink VOD
New Release This Week
New DVD Release at JerkOffZone.com
Internet Video Rentals
Sugar DVD
Bush DVD
Adult Gossip & News
TRPWL.com
LukeIsBack
TheFloatingWorld
GramPonante.com
Forum Stats
19072 Members
14 Forums
40341 Topics
614109 Posts

Max Online: 816 @ 12/23/24 07:04 PM
Topic Options
#421637 - 05/05/09 04:06 PM Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
cqd Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
click

"The French Navy said they seized 11 pirates Sunday after they apparently mistook a French military vessel for a commercial ship and made a run at it... The pirates, who had a mother ship as well as the two assault boats, are being held for questioning on the Nivose, Prazuck said."
_________________________


Top
#421638 - 05/05/09 04:43 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Willie D Offline

Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
ZOMG, that is ripe.

Top
#421639 - 05/05/09 06:22 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
geek Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 04/26/09
Posts: 366
Quote:

"The French Navy said they seized 11 pirates Sunday after they apparently mistook a French military vessel for a commercial ship and made a run at it...




Two for this one:

1) Oops.

2) The mistake is understandable. It IS a FRENCH navy ship. I once saw a French destroyer when I was in Martinique, and it looked like it would lose a war with floatation. Really.

On a similar note


Edited by geek (05/05/09 07:43 PM)

Top
#421640 - 05/05/09 07:27 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Coke banned by Monkey Offline
Whoremaster

Registered: 06/22/07
Posts: 2656
Loc: Polekatz, Rte 43

Since we're talking about the French navy, I'm surprised they didn't surrender to the pirates.
_________________________
"You have been banned from making any new posts or sending private messages. The reason for this ban is: meh, cause i can"

Top
#421641 - 05/06/09 07:03 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
the unknown pervert Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
The pirates were knocked out cold when the French raised their arms to surrender.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules

Top
#421642 - 05/06/09 10:44 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
amapornfreak Offline
Stormy's Lawyer

Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 28
Loc: Under a bridge
lol....the French are never gonna live that down are they?....*sigh* I guess to be popular

The french are scardy cats...

Top
#421643 - 05/06/09 10:57 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Wankus was my Daddy Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 316
Loc: Outside Daddy's new Church
LMAO, stupid fucks ran up on a light Frigate, even though it was French. Although if had been during the evening meal hour the frogs would have been downing the vino in the galley and they would have probably gotten away. 100mm gun, exocet missiles for the mother ship and a helicopter. Enough firepower for those stupid pirates.
_________________________
"Quasarman. The only thing this idiot should be directing is french fries into a deep fryer." JS

Top
#421644 - 05/06/09 02:36 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
geek Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 04/26/09
Posts: 366
Let's be clear on this: the ship needed protection from the pirates.


Two pirate assault boats approached the Nivose "at great speed," Capt. Christophe Prazuck said, but a French helicopter intervened before the attackers had time to fire at the French navy ship.

The helicopter fired warning shots, he said.

The pirates, who had a mother ship as well as the two assault boats, are being held for questioning on the Nivose, Prazuck said. The vessels were carrying AK-47 rifles and rocket-propelled grenades, but the pirates did not fire, he said.


I am absolutely certain that the big pointy thing on the foredeck is cheaper than a helicopter flight.


Top
#421645 - 05/06/09 03:03 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
JRV Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
Quote:


I am absolutely certain that the big pointy thing on the foredeck is cheaper than a helicopter flight.




That big pointy thing probably can't be depressed to a low enough angle to hit a raft until it's a few hundred yards away. Naval designers don't think in terms of a frigate needing to defend itself in close combat with an armed rowboat.

The idiots on the raft *can* do some damage by firing the AK-47s into the bridge or an RPG into the antennae or such: the captain can't just ignore them. On the other hand their chances of getting away are about zero even without the helicopter.
_________________________
"If they can't picture me with a knife, forcing them to strip in an alley, I don't want any part of it. It's humiliating." - windsock

Top
#421646 - 05/06/09 04:37 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
geek Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 04/26/09
Posts: 366
Yes, it is possible to get under the gun. However, it should not be possible to sneak up on a "survalience ship". Even so, there are other options that even the French could have taken the did not involve a helicopter. I like lowering the ladder and inviting them on board. The crew could even yell "Surprise!".


Edited by geek (05/06/09 05:15 PM)

Top
#421647 - 05/06/09 05:30 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
the unknown pervert Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
Followed by throwing livestock down on them and telling them their mother smelt of elderberries.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules

Top
#421648 - 05/06/09 05:56 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
backdoorman Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
....and farting in their general direction !
_________________________
I may not know arse but I know what I like !

Top
#421649 - 05/06/09 07:16 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Tritone Offline
Zip Coon
Chronic Masturbator

Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 1958
Quote:

Followed by throwing livestock down on them and telling them their mother smelt of elderberries.




Has anyone met any black Monty Python fans? In my travels I've noticed it seems to be a "white" thing. Same deal with digging vampires and stuff.

Top
#421650 - 05/06/09 08:06 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
cqd Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
Quote:



Has anyone met any black Monty Python fans? In my travels I've noticed it seems to be a "white" thing. Same deal with digging vampires and stuff.





Yes. Lots of nerdy black males are Monty Python fans. Same deal with white nerds.
_________________________


Top
#421651 - 05/06/09 08:12 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Bill Hicks Offline
Bukkake Boy

Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 717
Loc: Off the mortal coil
Quote:

Quote:

Followed by throwing livestock down on them and telling them their mother smelt of elderberries.




Has anyone met any black Monty Python fans? In my travels I've noticed it seems to be a "white" thing. Same deal with digging vampires and stuff.





Yes. You just love stereotypes.

Top
#421652 - 05/07/09 01:55 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Claude Goddard Offline
Whoremaster

Registered: 06/16/07
Posts: 2512
Loc: Slumberland
*insert generic 'French are cowards' joke here*

Top
#421653 - 05/07/09 06:32 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
the unknown pervert Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
Quote:

Quote:

Followed by throwing livestock down on them and telling them their mother smelt of elderberries.




Has anyone met any black Monty Python fans? In my travels I've noticed it seems to be a "white" thing. Same deal with digging vampires and stuff.





How many Blade movies has Wesley Snipes done?





Edited by the unknown pervert (05/07/09 06:33 AM)
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules

Top
#421654 - 05/07/09 06:40 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
the unknown pervert Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
You know Tritone you don't get on my nerves because you're black. You have got on my nerves due to the one trick pony theme of the majority of your posts but now you are getting on my nerves due to your habit of leaving four or five blank lines between the last word in your post and when you enter it. Every time I try to use the quote function on one of your quotes it becomes a clusterfuck with me putting my post inside your quote because I don't look for the bracketed backslash quote part that is always a dozen lines underneath the rest of your post. Knock it off, you're making me look like I've never used a quote function before.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules

Top
#421655 - 05/07/09 08:14 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
freestylah Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 4856
Loc: The 4th International
@TUP

Quote:

....but now you are getting on my nerves due to your habit of leaving four or five blank lines between the last word in your post and when you enter it. Every time I try to use the quote function on one of your quotes it becomes a clusterfuck with me putting my post inside your quote because I don't look for the bracketed backslash quote part that is always a dozen lines underneath the rest of your post. Knock it off, you're making me look like I've never used a quote function before.




Um, TUP, I know what you mean and I share the annoyance, but aren't you blaming TwoTone for something that is basically your own 'shortcoming'?
_________________________
The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.

Top
#421656 - 05/07/09 09:39 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Tritone Offline
Zip Coon
Chronic Masturbator

Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 1958
Quote:

Knock it off, you're making me look like I've never used a quote function before.




Testing ... how is this?

Top
#421657 - 05/07/09 09:44 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Tritone Offline
Zip Coon
Chronic Masturbator

Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 1958
Quote:

Quote:

Followed by throwing livestock down on them and telling them their mother smelt of elderberries.




Has anyone met any black Monty Python fans? In my travels I've noticed it seems to be a "white" thing. Same deal with digging vampires and stuff.




OK, I am quote-replying to my own post here. In the edit form on my browser (Firefox 3.0), there is a hard carraige-return/newline after the word "stuff". Then, there are a few spaces on the very next line before the closing "\[/quote\]" markup. I'm not seeing the multiple lines you are claiming. Not here at least. Perhaps its a quirk with how your browser is handling this site's text entry form?



Top
#421658 - 05/07/09 01:29 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Wankus was my Daddy Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 316
Loc: Outside Daddy's new Church
Quote:

Yes, it is possible to get under the gun. However, it should not be possible to sneak up on a "survalience ship". Even so, there are other options that even the French could have taken the did not involve a helicopter. I like lowering the ladder and inviting them on board. The crew could even yell "Surprise!".





It's obvious that the helicopter intervened because it was already airborne on patrol. They have additional hard points around the ship for 50 cal type machine guns for close in work. They also have two 20mm guns amidships. Lot's of ways of fucking pirates up. I'm pissed the international community doesn't get tough with these guys. Fuck up a few instead of interrogating and letting them go. Blow up the mother ship, sink the small boats and let them swim home. Do that four or five times and the number of attempted seizures goes to zero
_________________________
"Quasarman. The only thing this idiot should be directing is french fries into a deep fryer." JS

Top
#421659 - 05/07/09 02:08 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Followed by throwing livestock down on them and telling them their mother smelt of elderberries.




Has anyone met any black Monty Python fans? In my travels I've noticed it seems to be a "white" thing. Same deal with digging vampires and stuff.




OK, I am quote-replying to my own post here. In the edit form on my browser (Firefox 3.0), there is a hard carraige-return/newline after the word "stuff". Then, there are a few spaces on the very next line before the closing "\[/quote\]" markup. I'm not seeing the multiple lines you are claiming. Not here at least. Perhaps its a quirk with how your browser is handling this site's text entry form?







Fucken ghetto Macs.. heh
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

Top
#421660 - 05/07/09 04:09 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
geek Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 04/26/09
Posts: 366
Quote:

In the edit form on my browser (Firefox 3.0),




Chrome. Come on, get with last month.

Top
#421661 - 05/07/09 04:12 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
geek Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 04/26/09
Posts: 366

In all seriousness, the french captain was kind. The pirates should be fish food now.

Top
#421662 - 05/07/09 04:46 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
Well said Geek.

This whole story begs the question..What if?.

What if the pirates actually somehow seized that ship?.

It is the French after all.

Just imagine the implications and the momentary transfer of power that scenario would cause.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

Top
#421663 - 05/07/09 05:39 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Mark_J Offline
Pervert

Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 2058
Quote:

You know Tritone you don't get on my nerves because you're black. You have got on my nerves due to the one trick pony theme of the majority of your posts




check out TUP reeling it in!

speaking of, anyone else see the irony in tritone attempting to hijack this particular thread..



Attachments
410218-tritone.JPG (9 downloads)


Top
#421664 - 05/07/09 05:44 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
cqd Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
I don't actually notice much about tritone that isn't ironic.

Sorry Tritone, I like talking games you but aside from PM's you only show up when there is some potential for racial tension.

You might get a kick out of being impartial some time.
_________________________


Top
#421665 - 05/07/09 06:04 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy
geek Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 04/26/09
Posts: 366
Quote:

Well said Geek.

This whole story begs the question..What if?.

What if the pirates actually somehow seized that ship?.

It is the French after all.

Just imagine the implications and the momentary transfer of power that scenario would cause.




It would be a deadly situation until the helicopter ran out of fuel?

It gets pimped with some chrome 22" rims?

Would it be perfect justice? Somailian hijackers damned to enternity to haunting a french vessle.

Or, most likely, everyone would chuckle and go on with life.

---

A pair of F/A-18's from the USS Your-day-is-fucked would pay it a visit. End of File.

Top
#421666 - 05/07/09 06:24 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy
Bluecipher Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 5097
Loc:
Well, I'm glad the operation went better than Trafalgar.
_________________________
-------------------
Mild Mannered Minion
-------------------
I feel the pull on the rope, let me off at the rainbow
-Anyway, Genesis

Top
#421667 - 05/08/09 06:16 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
JRV Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
Quote:


They have additional hard points around the ship for 50 cal type machine guns for close in work. They also have two 20mm guns amidships. Lot's of ways of fucking pirates up.




One of two 50 cal rounds through the outboard motor on the raft and it's likely everything else can be done at leisure.

Quote:


I'm pissed the international community doesn't get tough with these guys. Fuck up a few instead of interrogating and letting them go.




France actually isn't a problem here: France has been one of the aggressive ones on this. As for the rest: whatever happened to their NATO obligations, "an attack on one is an attack on all"?

Quote:


Blow up the mother ship, [...]. Do that four or five times and the number of attempted seizures goes to zero



This is the only workable strategy I think. Pirates and rafts are dime-a-dozen it seems - sink one and five more scurry out.

But deep-sea fishing vessels, capable of towing the pirates 200 miles into the ocean, are much less common, and harder for the Somali fisherman to replace. Once you start confiscating fishing boats associated with pirate activity the piracy falls off as the boat owners either quit giving tows or all the deep-sea boats are confiscated.

The worst thing thing is that this points out how woeful US sea-surveillance is. Does anyone think the Iranians haven't noticed this? Time to quit pretending satellite surveillance is The Answer and develop some high-altitude UAVs that can stay up for long periods and are cheap enough to buy by the dozens with the goal of *continuous* watch over a big patch of water.
_________________________
"If they can't picture me with a knife, forcing them to strip in an alley, I don't want any part of it. It's humiliating." - windsock

Top
#421668 - 05/15/09 05:10 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
freestylah Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 4856
Loc: The 4th International
Watchdog: Piracy not based on intelligence network

LONDON (AP) - Pirate attacks off the Somali coast appear to be mainly opportunistic and there is no indication that vessels are targeted with the help of intelligence from international contacts, a maritime watchdog said Friday.

The International Maritime Bureau said there was no evidence to support media reports that individuals with access to information about shipping routes and cargoes may be helping pirates to locate the most vulnerable ships, and ones most likely to yield large ransoms.

Pirate raids on vessels off the Horn of Africa have surged this year, confounding authorities who have been hard-pressed to curb the assaults despite the deployment of an international task force of military craft.

Many experts and authorities believe the pirates target ships almost at random, but the burgeoning business of collecting ransoms from shipping companies eager to free their crews and cargoes has triggered a debate about the degree of sophistication of the assailants.


"Further allegations have been made in the press that London-based information channels have been utilized to provide intelligence to the pirate gangs," the London-based bureau said. "There is no evidence to support these allegations."

"Further, there is no information in the public domain that would enable pirates to precisely locate a targeted vessel at sea and then to mount a successful attack off the Horn of Africa," it said.

The bureau said attacked vessels included fishing boats, bulk carriers and a supertanker, with assorted cargoes bound for a variety of ports. It said pirates have tried to attack naval units, mistakenly believing them to be merchant ships.

"Pirates target vessels that are easy to board and in their vicinity," the bureau said. "If an attack is successfully repelled they move on to another vessel."

On Wednesday, the commander of the European Union's naval task force said searches of captured "mother" pirate ships operating off the Somali coast have revealed for the first time that gangs are coordinating their attacks against commercial shipping.

But British Rear Admiral Philip Jones said he was "bemused" by media reports that the pirates were receiving intelligence on the movement of commercial shipping from sources in the West, adding that the searches of the mother ships had yielded no such evidence.

Despite the international naval presence, attacks on commercial shipping off the Somali coast have increased in the last two months as pirates have taken to sailing far out into the Indian Ocean to attack vessels beyond the patrol range of the warships.


_________________________
The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.

Top
#421669 - 05/16/09 10:33 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy
charin Offline
Gag Factor Guru
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 5290
Loc: Dayton
Pirate ships would lower their flags,
When Puff roared out his name, Oh,
Puff, the Magic Dragon,
Lived by the sea,





-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy
_________________________
Fuck 'em all but nine.

Top
#421670 - 05/16/09 07:47 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Fenris Offline
Bukkake Boy

Registered: 04/15/08
Posts: 741
Loc: The Great White Frozen Fucking...
Quote:

Quote:

Followed by throwing livestock down on them and telling them their mother smelt of elderberries.




Has anyone met any black Monty Python fans? In my travels I've noticed it seems to be a "white" thing. Same deal with digging vampires and stuff.





Honestly Tritone, I have not. I have seen something even weirder though. Black 'Magic the Gathering' fanboys.
_________________________
'She looks like Brock Lesnar.' - The Tatty Patty.

Top
#421671 - 05/18/09 07:48 AM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
Tritone Offline
Zip Coon
Chronic Masturbator

Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 1958
Quote:

[
Honestly Tritone, I have not. I have seen something even weirder though. Black 'Magic the Gathering' fanboys.





Top
#421672 - 05/19/09 07:57 PM Re: Pirates Accidentally Try To Seize French Navy Ship
tattypatty Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/30/08
Posts: 7599
Loc: a site known for its tolerance...
Somalian Pirates Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

http://tvshack.net/tv/South_Park/season_13/episode_7/
_________________________
"I'll never forget the moment during the lovely Alyssa Allure's scene in 'American Bukkake' where the fellow got out of his wheel chair to ejaculate on her face. It was grotesque but had a certain frisson." -Sock

Top



Moderator:  Jerkules 
Shout Box

JM Productions
JM Productions Official Home is the JerkOffZone.com
Gag Factor
Yeah, it's that fucked up!!
American Bukkake
Tap into your inner degenerate!!
JM has the Best Variety !!
JM Video Lines
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 539 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod