Wow. That is an exceptionally written piece. Close on professional standard I'd say.

My recommendation to Ms. Ireland if she's reading: you have to write a memoir or get a column or something. I know people lie to PW's about supposed "talents" they have outside of fucking when really they think their writing or directing or photography or styling or whatnot is shit. Just trying to give the PW back a wee bit of self respect. But in this instance it's not idle flattery.

Sorry about the swollen cunt. Go get a job writing instead.