Some guys just appreciate the work. If 3 people are in a room and 2 like it, you are odd man out.

If you can't love a few skanks and trolls, who can you love? I only ask 'cuz Jenna Jameson ain't going to be blowing you anytime soon. (I know, I know. You don't like her, either.) I was just putting her name out there as an industry icon. Many men fantasize about her because they are familiar with her, if only by name.

I give you Jennah Jamesonne. I wear a Rollex watch. I buy my lady friends Coochie bags, not Gucci.

Enjoy your caviar dinner with caviar dessert (topped with whipped caviar) and Dom Perignon champagne, your Highness.