Why you found me on the bathroom floor this morning with my pants around my ankles,one hand on my penis and the other holding my playstation portable(which was slideshowing nude Gia Jordan pics)I don't know that I have enough information available to explain... but of course YOU would need to help me understand how it's any of your fucking business I will tell you this much though....
I am not ashamed! Not in anyway .. However I DO wish that there had been some lube of some type in the immediate vicinity... apparently there was not

Was this pulled directly from this week's "Hey, You!" column in the OC Weekly?