Well, there is the Ultimate Fighting Championship fights on Spike TV tonight. There is also the Ultimate Fucking Championship going on over at www.loadmymouth.com. It's my 511th bout and my record stands at 511-0. I'm proud, of course, but vigilant. Wily Jessica Drew came in as an underdog and ended up being submitted in doggie. Ironic? She obviously hasn't studied my work. She was given an honorary white belt in cum eating for her efforts and the fight ended at 17:11.

Jessica started Round 1 with a traditional fist-in-palm salute.

Non-regulation footwear. Used mainly for offense against nutsacks. Should have been an automatic disqualification.

Trying to be elusive, she did a lot of bobbing and weaving.

I preferred to make her bob and slurp.

The agony and the ecstasy.

Hair pulling is not usually allowed....in fair fights.

I pulled a cheek spread move to try to get a submission. Her anus was stronger than it looked.

I took her back and had her mounted.

Cumshot.

Swallow.


Decision: Iron.