I just want to grab a handful of the chick's hair along the back of her head, yank it back jussssst hard enough to make her wince, slap her face 6 times with my hard, pulsating, angry penis, smear the precum on her lips, and then jerk off directly onto her outstretched tongue.

Some might argue this qualifies as a modern day version of oral sex, but I disagree....I call this romance, even a loose form of courtship. I am a romantic at heart, and when I find the (at minimum) modestly hott whore who will allow me to use her mouth as my own personal specimen receptacle (twice a day no questions or complaining), and who is willing to sign the prenup and accepts the monthly allowance I provide, then I will have found the potential Mrs Da Burglar.

Of course, marriage is bunk, so if above-referenced whore was simply willing to be a kept woman/receptacle for a reasonable, tidy round monthly sum, that would be just as romantic....I honestly think after the 15th or 16th load I plop into her mouth, she will learn to luvvvvvvvvv me....

Cameron Keys doesnt swallow so as much as I would want to give her first dibs, this is a potential deal breaker; Everyone knows how I feel about Marley and her Bouncy ball; Moxxie Maddron, XPTs most underrated whore, strikes me as the kind of woman who would truly LOVE being kept and used for the filthy, selfish pleasure of a pervert like me; there are a number of viable candidates....if I could get the list down to 12, I would propose a VH-1 type reality show whereby, over the course of 10-12 weeks, I weed out and whittle the list down until I find the right whore. ANd I would picture Gian Jerkins in the role of Sharon Osbourne in that Rock of Love: Charm School, whereby Gia teaches the shrinking group of whore receptacle candidates just HOW to be a truly proper and classy Kept Whore/Filth-queen/interesting companion.