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#41024 - 07/26/04 09:12 PM
Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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As the monkey's cage continues to grow we have decided to add a new element to the site. From now on whenever you have a problem we have a new girl here who is going to try and answer it for you, she is wise beyond her years, Her name is Christina and she takes on many forms of different christinas. Confused, well i will start the ball rolling. This is serious to, if you have a problem feel free to ask it and christina will answer it as best she can and reward you with a picture.
Dear christina, i have a problem and was wondering if you could help, i have a pillar that has shown signs of cracks in the side and im worried that it could break and the roof above will tumble down on our heads while we eat dinner, what do you suggest for the problem.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41026 - 07/26/04 09:17 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Thanks christina, as you can see she has a vast knowledge on many topics, so if you have a problem feel free to ask away.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41028 - 07/27/04 03:36 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina,
I understand women with huge knockers have a problem keeping their spines in line. How do you keep your back so straight?
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#41029 - 07/27/04 04:19 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Dear Christina,
you didnt answer Monkey's question.Why?
this is christina here, chico you sexy thing you, i did answer the question. I didn't know how to verbalize it so i used a picture showing how to do it, a picture is worth a thousand words and a picture with me wearing a thong has to be worst at least 1200 right, which is actually what i got paid for the shoot, how ironic.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
I understand women with huge knockers have a problem keeping their spines in line. How do you keep your back so straight?
How right you are, there is a price to pay having the big girls, what i tend to do is yoga back exercises for at least an hour a day, i have a lot of great supporting bras and if you would have a look at the picture above these type of exercises also tend to help and a great smile will get you everywhere. xxx ooo christina.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41030 - 07/27/04 06:36 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 5256
Loc: CSW Wrestling - Gracie Academy
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Dear Christina, Thanks...ummm...Whats the real story between Monkey and Fayner? Don't hold back since your smarter than the magic 8 ball. www.exquisitemenu.comwww.adultstaffingservices.com
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#41031 - 07/27/04 06:42 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 951
Loc: IL
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ok, monkey. the christina bit made me LOL. but the question is, can you keep giving us this great material? if not I banish you to a lifetime of rimming smartt.
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#41032 - 07/27/04 06:48 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina, When your daddy "Puts It To You" and he "Pimps" your pictures out on the net, how do you hold your head up high and continue to look into the camera without tears of shame streaming down your face? 
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#41034 - 07/27/04 08:36 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Dear Christina, Tickle your ass with a feather? 
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#41035 - 07/27/04 04:12 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for you
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Dear Christina,
Thanks...ummm...Whats the real story between Monkey and Fayner? Don't hold back since your smarter than the magic 8 ball.
Chico as much as i would love to tell you i can't because if i do the monkey will beat me (monkey yells from the kitchen, what are you talking about over there, christina whispers back, nothing monkey, its okay).
Quote:
ok, monkey. the christina bit made me LOL. but the question is, can you keep giving us this great material? if not I banish you to a lifetime of rimming smartt.
If i wasn't working for the monkey and knew everything about the monkey i would swear this is the monkey's second id used to stroke his ego , brandon iron's style. Lucky i know the monkey better then most.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
When your daddy "Puts It To You" and he "Pimps" your pictures out on the net, how do you hold your head up high and continue to look into the camera without tears of shame streaming down your face?
I have put that all in the past, monkey saved me from that life, thankfully. So although i appreciate that question i would prefer to answer questions about problems you guys might be having rather then focus on the many problems of my troubled past.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
There is one guy and 10 girls. He is going to fuck them all. Each fuck session lasts 18 min. He needs 10 minutes to recuperate from the first two sessions. From the third session on, he needs an additional 7 minutues per girl to resume fucking.Its 12pm noon. How long will it take for him to fuck all 10 girls?
sounds like fun, the wording of this question can leave you with 2 different answers, but i will try and answer it the way i assume it was meant to be asked. It will take you 4 hours and 6 minuts, so she should be ready by 4.06 pm.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
Tickle your ass with a feather?
no
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41036 - 07/27/04 04:30 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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If i wasn't working for the monkey and knew everything about the monkey i would swear this is the monkey's second id used to stroke his ego , brandon iron's style. Lucky i know the monkey better then most.
Ahah
............................................................
Dear Christina,
Tickle your ass with a feather?
no
Why not dammit?
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#41039 - 07/27/04 06:35 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Dear Christina, I don't like being teased by your photos and no acceptance of ass tickling, and another thing stay the hell away from Monkey's secreat stash of bananas as half of them are mine. 
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#41044 - 07/28/04 10:33 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina, I have a recurring dream where I am standing over someone who has kneeled in front of me. I am not sure who it is at this point. I have a 45 pointed at their forehead. I pull the trigger and before the body hits the floor I realize it's smartt. Understanding the gravity of what I have done I know what my next move must be. I roll the body over carefully cover my johnson with a condom (he is brazilian) and begin to fuck the living shit out of the exit wound.  My question is: In what circumstances do you think it appropriate for a man to shave his pubes?
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#41045 - 07/28/04 07:16 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Dear Christina,
Who is going to win the World Series this year? Dont let me down because I've got big money on a Dodgers v. Yankees series,if they get that far.
cubs in 6 over the red sox (yes thats right)
Quote:
Dear Christina,
What are your turn-ons,fetishes and will you ever do porn?
Nothing, nothing and no.
Quote:
Dear Christina,
I have a recurring dream where I am standing over someone who has kneeled in front of me. I am not sure who it is at this point. I have a 45 pointed at their forehead. I pull the trigger and before the body hits the floor I realize it's smartt. Understanding the gravity of what I have done I know what my next move must be. I roll the body over carefully cover my johnson with a condom (he is brazilian) and begin to fuck the living shit out of the exit wound.
My question is: In what circumstances do you think it appropriate for a man to shave his pubes?
First off i think i can speak for the majority of the baord and say we have all had that dream at one point or another, and to answer your question when it gets to be more then 2 inches in length it is nice to trim the hedges, when you go down on a woman its not nice to be head first into hair the same goes for us girls.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41046 - 07/28/04 07:57 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Dear Christina,
I thought about masturbating to your pics tonight. Would you be offended?
_________________________
" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#41048 - 07/29/04 10:56 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina, There has been a lot of talk on the board about people using several ID's. I was hoping you could shed some light on the subject. If Monseur is Brandon & Fester is Cleetus & Smelly Monkey is Smiling Arab & Pussy Power is Lord Byron and Rump Does that mean: Kyoto is Kryptic? Kami is Toelicker (both disappeared about the same time)? Wizard of Jizz is Swami? Any help you could give me would be appreciated. P.S. How much longer till your old enough for me fuck those great looking tits of yours.
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#41049 - 07/29/04 04:50 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Dear Christina,
There has been a lot of talk on the board about people using several ID's. I was hoping you could shed some light on the subject.
If Monseur is Brandon
& Fester is Cleetus
& Smelly Monkey is Smiling Arab
& Pussy Power is Lord Byron and Rump
Does that mean:
Kyoto is Kryptic?
Kami is Toelicker (both disappeared about the same time)?
Wizard of Jizz is Swami?
Any help you could give me would be appreciated.
P.S. How much longer till your old enough for me fuck those great looking tits of yours.
Yes the multiply ids has seemed to have come in vogue on this board after everyone found out brandon irons had done it, always the trend setter a lot of people have start to follow in his foot steps, i hope this fad fades as no one is really fooling anyone else, everyone knows regular members posting styles. All the names mentioned above are those people, you have done your homework. I am totally disgusted with people pretending to be other people, its sick (pauses to think, and a little more, and a little more, it will come to you)
Te girls stay unfucked and covered, barely.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41051 - 07/30/04 02:02 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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That is the greatest picture in the history of photos taken throughout time. Thats brandon irons blue steel, the photographer goes " brandon give me sexy, the camera loves you" and thats what brandon gave him. I love that picture, brandon care to give us a breakdown of that photo and the shoot itself, love to hear it.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41053 - 08/01/04 04:17 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Dear christina , im having a problem trying to flatten the base of my workshop table, do you have any suggestions?. Thanks monkey.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41056 - 08/01/04 07:01 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Chico, do you like Baseball better than Football?
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#41061 - 08/01/04 07:32 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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xxxporntalk fantasy football league. Okay now i have seen it all. I will just sit back and wait for the giant comet to hit the earth and end us all.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#41062 - 08/01/04 08:09 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 5256
Loc: CSW Wrestling - Gracie Academy
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#41063 - 08/02/04 12:51 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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chico, you must be far enough removed from it to forget how much football sucked to play 90% of the time-which was practice and games you didn't win. the ratio of pancaking people to running the same play 8 times because all running backs are stupid/jamming fingers and getting cleated/standing around isn't very good.
plus, every team ever assembled had the "practice hero" guy who never really made it off the scout/2nd teams, but would clip people when you were running plays in shells or to thud.kinda like bill romanowski, but with a 5.1 40 and bad hands, but still dangerous to knees.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#41064 - 08/02/04 05:20 AM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Dear Christina,
My dreams about fucking smartt’s exit wound are causing me to jerk off several times a day. I have noticed a painful swelling at the base of my cock and I was wondering if a change in lubes would counter act this? Should I switch to water, oil, or silicon based lubricant? Currently I am just using gun oil.
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#41066 - 08/02/04 09:51 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 5256
Loc: CSW Wrestling - Gracie Academy
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Quote:
chico, you must be far enough removed from it to forget how much football sucked to play 90% of the time-which was practice and games you didn't win. the ratio of pancaking people to running the same play 8 times because all running backs are stupid/jamming fingers and getting cleated/standing around isn't very good.
plus, every team ever assembled had the "practice hero" guy who never really made it off the scout/2nd teams, but would clip people when you were running plays in shells or to thud.kinda like bill romanowski, but with a 5.1 40 and bad hands, but still dangerous to knees.
I was an outsidelinebacker and people did get hit. Practice did suck,but come gameday,it was worth it.Fortunately,we won the City Title twice when I was there. BTW, my 40 was a 4.6
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#41067 - 08/02/04 10:27 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Dear Christina,
Do you offer anal on the first date?
_________________________
" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#41071 - 08/03/04 11:28 PM
Re: Have a problem?, let christina answer it for y
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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That's the best position-I played weakside backer/TE and sometimes they'd put me as a kinda h-back. A legit 4.6 is impressive, I've run in the 4.6's but not reguarly-it's fast enough for college ball easily, but I'm about 195lbs at 6'2". I played lacrosse in college, but there's no way I could shed guards weighing 260 and benching 500lbs. And my high school team was average, losing games in november in the snow on torn ankle ligaments sucks, which was my last football memory and the source of my bitterness. little league ruled though.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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