Recently, while in L.A. for business, I stopped by the world famous Pink's for a hot dog and was accosted in an inappropriate sexual manner. As I was leaving, a strange looking chubby man with a fu manchu mustache, bleached hairtips, a red bandana and a sleeveless Dolphins shirt grabbed my crotch. Because I had four chili cheese dogs in my hand, I was unable to pry his hands loose. I was mortified and helpless. Before I could scream for help, the man jumped into a running car driven by a woman who sort of resembled Howie Long.

So my question is this; should I contact the authorities or just let it go? I feel the shame of telling my story to the police may be too much for me to handle. Please Christina, help me.