People who text like motherfuckers when they could just give me a quick call and tell me what's up.

Ignorant-ass fuckheads who call me and then say "Who's this?".
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"I'll never forget the moment during the lovely Alyssa Allure's scene in 'American Bukkake' where the fellow got out of his wheel chair to ejaculate on her face. It was grotesque but had a certain frisson." -Sock