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Ever ordered an escort and then had to turn her away for being ugly? Talk about an awkward situation.



That hasnt happened to me since 1995 or 1996, and it wasnt cuz she was ugly (she was actually smokin hott), it was the fact she says to me when she walked into my San Jose Condo "I'm sorry I am late, I couldnt find a babysitter, so I had to bring my 9 year old son...."

<stunned Da Burglar, stops wheeling to bedroom and turns to her and says> "ummmm, 9 yr old son????"

<Amoral clueless hott lazy whore>: "MmmmHmmm....So is 1200 cool for the 2 hours? I can do 3 hours for 1500...???"

<Fuming inside Burglar, turning Red> "wait....whoa whoa....so where is your son if you didnt find a babysitter??"

<Selfish Hott Bitch, realizing I am upset, trying to recover>: "Oh, well.....I dropped him off at the Chuck E' Cheeses 3 blocks from here...he has my Cellular number and I gave him YOUR number here too, that was ok right???"

<Burg, in Mickey Rourke Mode now> "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! NOW! Here's 200 bucks, Just go fucking get your boy now before I call the fucking cops....I am not worried about what they might say to me in this situation, you are fucking pathetic....seriously, Get the FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT now!"

<Stunned whore>: "Ok Look, you dont fucking understand. I do this shitty business FOR MY SON....fuck, it's always the same...Ok fine BYE! If you change your mind call me..."



I cant believe she actually told me that, instead of just lying about the usual Whore Auto Accident or some other excuse for lateness....Whore's tend to open up with me, like something about my countenance encourages them to be honest and admit shit they otherwise hide or lie about. But goddamn....I cant believe I am reliving that awful memory at 6:30 AM on a saturday.



But in general, I NEVER call for a completely anonymous whore to visit me....I've had semi-blind date type calls, where a whore I trust refers me to another whore she vouches for.....

And if someone I trust or know personally, who has some connection to the sex industry or business of whores, refers a girl to me, I will try it out ONCE.

For Instance, if Holly Randall had a whore-friend who was experiencing a downturn in her business lately because of the economy (and not because the whore friend had recently started doing Meth or smoking CRACK), and Holly wanted to help her friend out by drumming up business, so Holly says to her whore friend: "Aria, I know this nice, eccentric, intellectual jaded crippled pervert who fancies himself a whore connoisseur...would you like me to set something up?"

Now unless Aria/Holly's whore friend is MEAN and refuses to even talk with cripples, much less have dinner with and blow later on, and unless Holly demands a percentage as a type of madame's fee, this will take place because I, da burg, trust implicitly Holly's judgement and Holly's concern for my happiness safety and well being. I know Holly would never ever set me up with a complete psycho hottie whore, or worse....

I might also trust Gian Jergens too in such a situation, but in Gia's case I would be afraid that Monkey had beat me to it and Monkey had paid Gia an exorbitant amount of $$ (that Monkey had scored by robbing a Bukkake set) to SPECIFICALLY have Gia set me up with a psycho serial killer hottie whore, and they find my empty wheelchair at the end of the Balboa Pier early the next morning with several drops of blood on the handlebars, and a bare Pork Chop Bone on the seat of the wheelchair.

I'm not saying Gia would hurt me, but she is a business woman and Monkey being Monkey....Da burglar Shudders <Shudder>
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