Coke = (the stupidity of Darrah + the self-importance of Kurt + the culture/taste of Donkey + plenty of free time due to being unemployed (even with three magical, gold-ticket degrees!) / (the books he's read (not including anyone who has a radio show and/or appears on Fox "News") + women who arouse him) * per 10 feet of stolen copper wire from meth-fueled "quests" to nearby foreclosed homes