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smartt: He is the fat, ugly brazilian guy on the board, who likes to post pictures of his penis, ugly brazilian women (some of which weren't born that way).


He may be fat. He may be ugly. Hell, he may even be Brazilian. On the internet, no one knows you're Peruvian. He's forgotten more about porn than most of us will ever know, or even want to know. You don't know whether to love him for the pics he posts or hate him for the classic sci-fi and horror stories he posts in their entirity.

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pussypower: He is the lame englishmen who can have stretches where his post are unbearable and repetitive, like when he posted 4 posts within hours of each other all on the same subject which happened to be how his star ratings went from 3 to 1 and then back to 2 again, fascinating, ground breaking stuff, he has also done the same on a adt mod called m lyons, no matter where you look on the board you are bound to come across at least 4 posts on the matter.


Since he started posting, the board is calmer and more civil. Even the Monkey is better behaved. I think the frequent posts in each thread help to spread his soporific evil. If he didn't post frequently in a given thread, people in that thread would break free of his spell and come back to life.

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smiling arab: Funny guy , who posts fresh original stuff, a treat for those who enjoy the cynical view on porn.


Most of us try to be funny by being outrageous. Smiling Arab does it by being reasonable. It's a gift. You can't imitate it.

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zenman: King of the thread move, rarely posts but you always feel his presence and if you don't watch your back he can strike and when he does you wake up feeling sore in places you would least like to feel sore in.


I haven't figured out if his dictator-avatars are ironic commentaries on his role of moderator, or ironic commentaries on the early-twentieth century link between zen and fascism. Either way, he'll always be Mussolini to me.

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jrv: also a fan of the thread move but not to the extend of zenman. A friendly version have you.


Every discussion board needs someone who's around more or less full time and who's completely normal. Or if not normal, then who can fake being normal.

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kami: pornstar kami andrews, funny but very sensitive something she aware of. As long as the ego stroking is in full effect everything will be cool


She's every slightly chubby, well endowed girl you ever lusted after in high school. And she has the same attitude.

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mr poo: bald guy who runs errands for very little money and professional monkey hunter, he keeps kami locked in a cage and posts here every now and then when he isn't busy beating women on the site he does stuff for (what exactly, im not sure) meat holes.


In other words, a porn insider and Kami's main squeeze.

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jeff steward: owner of jm productions and is in charge of the site.


It's true that Tony does all the work for Jeff on the site. This leaves Jeff free to devote all his time to pursuing his true vocation; trying to get porn girls to show up for shoots so he can actually make a video.

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tony mallice: runs the ship and puts up with all the crap jeff tries to avoid. Like people complaining about certain users (most of the time me) and does all the little things that makes us all warm and tingly inside.


Puck to Steward's Oberon. Any sufficiently advanced power appears to be god-like. Tony doesn't actually exist. He's just a manifestation of the powers and forces that keep the board working.

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sammura: goddess, hood rat, catfood and corn chips. possibly the most disgusting woman god has ever created, she hates everyone and everything and her main targets are monkey, smartt and chico.


An attractive woman who took absolutely everything personally.

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cleetus vandamme/ fester: funny guy(s) , liked by all except sammura.


I can't improve on that.

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Brandon_Iron: yes that brandon irons, porn guy. He takes the shameless plugs to a whole new level on this board, he even manages to get shameless plugs in between insults he throws at his own xxxporntalk stalker in monsier. Its something to see.


There is so much ego, greed, and lust in the porn world that some is always left lying around after a video shoot. If it happens to coalesce, it assumes an identity and starts marketing itself.

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melissa_lauren : new blonde porn chick to the board, funny and out there, too much women for doron d who she let does nasty things to her, well as nasty as one can get with a 1 inch penis and a baseball bat.


A girl has to make a living, and a girl in porn has to constantly promote herself. And so we get a woman who is so relentless in presenting herself as a hard core slut that she seems a little inhuman, and who never posts a picture of herself in which her hair and makeup aren't perfect. She even managed to combine both in one picture, by having herself photographed with immaculate hair and makeup and a baseball bat up her ass.

BTW, I'm not making fun of her. If she can earn a reasonable living this way, then there's no reason not to do it.

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Rob Longshot: long time poster and male porn star, he is starting to go down the road of brandon irons though, tending to use the board for shameless plugs only although he has assured me he hasn't.


Comes across as level-headed and unpretentious. In a forum of eccectrics and characters, he's just acts like a nice guy. Of course he's just doing it to get girls.

And some additions:

Monsieur: In the ongoing feud between him and Brandon Iron, he's so consistently tedious that he makes Brandon's frank self-obsession seem sprightly and entertaining. It's hard to believe that Monsieur is providing this service to Brandon for free. Maybe he isn't.

Gen Padova: Like jrv, she's mastered the art of faking normalcy. Of course, she's got that porn star thing going for her too.

Smelly Monkey: the Beaver. A sweet, sensitive kid who's working very hard to get your approval, in his own belligerent, obnoxious, slander-em-til-they-laugh way. Knife fight!