Folks, forgive me. I've been out of the loop since '98, which coincided with the last big HIV scare before the latest one. So I need to be refreshed from insiders on the Internet age and what the video sex trade has become.

What's the scoop? Is it still a nickle and dime deal for talent? Given the sad, sorry state of current events, should I mount a comeback or stay away?

Times are tough, writing jobs are touch and go on the web and this old school vet may need to wet his wick again to make ends meet. I'm not gonna reveal my true identity. That I'll save for later.

However, what I will say is that I was known for big pops. Golden money shot shooters that sell sex scenes all by their lonesome. I was a one man bukkake load show and have the tapes to prove it.

In fact, in the past 15 years there are only 4 guys who could truly deliver the goods in that respect. Me, Steve Austin, Arnie Swartzpecker and of course the legendary beercan, P. North.

For your information, some of the latter have been known to take performance enhancers. Me, JoePornStar, yours truly who lasted a decade on mere shooting abilities, got by on a high natural testosterone level. So it would be scary to see what I could do on Viagra or sexual steroids.

I'm not looking to be a meat puppet. Been there, done that. Besides, I can't function with just any girl. I'm not a robot. When girls all start to look the same, what I need are characters who don't fit the smut slut mold to float my boat. Indeed, I prefer the Michele Ravens to the Jesse Janes.

As a rule, I don't like your prototypical WASP fuck dolls who make up 75% of porn and coast through sex acts on perfect looks with phony emotion. Instead, I prefer nasty, slutty, hard ethnic types who wear their sensuality on their sleeve and are not fashion slut flesh poseurs.

If anyone within shooting distance of this message post could use a retro guy who may still be able to pop like Old Faithful, I live in the east side of Sin Valley.

I've got a decade of experience and would rather not be directed. Save that for the new guys. Just gimme a female camera chick and a mature nymph who spits, swallows, drips, drools, gags, gargles---and means it. And I'll show you what I can do. If it's not good enough, I'll go back to being an unsung hasbeen.

Thanks so much for this forum. It may be my last chance to turn back the clock. If anyone cares, throw me a bone. I just might surprise you.