I am really saddened by the news that Lou is indeed alive. All I can say to console the grief stricken is that someday he will in fact be dead. We can only pray that day will be sooner rather then later. If anybody will be so kind as to send me Lou's name and address I'll be happy to visit him and make sure that his death is slow and painful.

Only then can the mournful be given some relief from their pain. Until then we will have to console ourselves with the knowledge that Lou is a fat, ugly, stupid, gay, retarded, monosyllabic, incoherent, sexless loser that will never satisfy a woman.