Brandon, we both lust after Gia but I don't know which is worse. That I as a fanboi even care, but can't score. Or that you, as someone in the biz, with weekly access to Gia, and the money to hire her, is regularly rejected by her.



listen assflavor, if you're going to bump old theories about alt's, be original, don't parrot Jim. i'm as much brandon as you are an attorney, and unlike him, i don't need an altered state to be witty. when i talk to females, i don't automatically put on a calm and reassuring voice like he does, talking real slow- that's textbook sociopath. if i was banging around the clock like him, i wouldn't suck toes like an infant, I wouldn't bang fuglies- and if I did i sure as hell wouldn't post photos of them online, then tread water defending them in some weird self-deprecating quest for acceptance.

further, i don't live in a yellow apartment, and i can manage my finances without my hobbies spinning into all-consuming and crippling addictions. also unlike him, when I step outside my home into daylight, i don't look out at the world with a befuddled expression of child-like wonder, like seeing it all for the first time. he's a fucking maniac, but a lovable one- a little ogre gorging on discord and despair.

sadly, while i'm familiar with him, i'm not him. what i can offer you is this, for i know you're hurting -- and perhaps we all are in some small way -- i'll give you a 3-day pass to LoadMyPetriDish.com if you can come up with a more realistic or at least original alt theory, for, there is none.