the whole cast of desperate timefighters need a smack- go right down the line.



pill-pops mczombie is long overdue a smack, now that the campaign's over and no one's watching. and you know who wants to give it.



nadya suleman (a.k.a. Octopussy) needs fourteen smacks, one for each mutant preemie she's foisted upon taxpayers, and a bonus smack for trying to complete the angelina jolie psycho dream with various cosmetic procedures.



the queen of snarkland doesn't so much need a smack, as a love swat- only enough to provoke the cute nostril flare.



punchface robin quivers needs a smack - right into low earth orbit.



jessica simpson needs a couple smacks- one for ruining the dallas cowboys, and one for ruining herself.



anyone with a Wicked necklace needs a smack. jewelry with words is lame, plus its the worst porn company ever.



kate hudson needs a smack any time she puts on the sourpuss- so basically every day.



kirsten dunst needs a smack- as does anyone hiring this debbie downer to ruin an otherwise good movie.



tina turner doesn't need any more smacks. maybe just one for old times' sake.



pink needs a smack, for annoying songs that scream and insist she's more femme than a cro-mag with hands like a steel worker.



tila tequila needs a shot. from a viet cong rifle. preferably her father's.



in general, if someone's walking around like they have a mouth full of lemon juice, or like they're god's gift, they need a smack. lighten the fuck up.