http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/145791048.html


1) Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand with a death grip and waving it around at me like it's the fucking deed to Trump Towers... what the fuck do you want me to do, grow another pussy?!? It's a fuckin' dollar, put it down on the tiprail and blow my world away already.

2) You losers that come into the club for a lapdance with NO underwear or boxers and thin-ass, nylon shorts, so we slip and slide on your hard-on (which always feel like a sharpie pen ~ fine point)...fuck you.

3) You with the thick-ass jeans, this was an impromptu visit, eh?

4) Don't pull my thong up during a dance and ask me if it felt good. IT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD.

5) Hey you, Loser, the one counting out the 20 bucks in one dollar increments, rubbing your fingers between each one to make sure you are giving me just that one dollar. Yes, you.

6) No I will not just let you "slip it in real quick" for $50 more bucks.

7) Yeah, my tits are real. As real as my affection for you.

8)If you cum in your pants, you have to tip me an extra $100 for being a lame-ass who can cum in their pants from a lapdance.

9) Stop asking me out. You're a smelly, fat loser and the only reason I'm smiling and cooing at you is because I want your money. Outside of the club I wouldn't even fart your way.

11) Stop bitching at me about the goddamn two drink minimum. First of all, your breath ranks (what'd you have for dinner, garlic and shit?), you're about 172 lbs. overweight, and you look like Jay Leno. More importantly: I don't give a shit.

12) Don't bitch at me about the $10 non-alchoholic beer either. Hide a bottle of Jack in your coat pocket next time like everyone else does.

13) My horniness is in direct proportion to your income.

14) No, you CAN'T SMOKE. Dumb. Ass.

15 )Boys, don't sit in the front row with your "homies" and act all engrossed in some deep conversation during a girls performance because you want to look like you're too "cool" to notice the hot, naked girl in front of you. It's a clear sign that you ain't getting any.

16) DON'T SIT IN THE FRONT ROW IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TIP. Fer chrissakes!!!!!!!!!!!

17) "So what do you guys do when you're on your period?" Answer: I lap dance with guys in dark pants.

18) STOP trying to grab my tits!!!!!!! That's extra.

19) SHOWER FIRST, you nasty fuck!

20) I had a feeling you weren't going to tip me, so I took extra care to rub my lip gloss on your collar and wear extra glitter lotion and obnoxious perfume before our dance.

21) Hey cheapasses: please don't come to my work. Just stay home and jack off to "Desperate Housewives" instead. It will save us a both a lot of unpleasantry.

22) Stop asking me why I do this job and try to get all psychologically analytical on me. For the money, you moron, that's why.

23) No seriously, my real name is Sparkle.

24) NO, I will not take a dime sac for payment. I can tell it's oregano anyway you stupid mutherfucker!

25) Sorry, I don't do that. Ask the ugly girl at the bar with the black roots and overbite.

26) I can see it's your first time at a strip club. Let me explain the dynamics to you. If you want a fuck or a blow-job, go to the ugly chicks. Hot girls don't have to do "extra services." I can give you some recommendations for a small fee.

27) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. Not okay.

28) Stop complaining about how short the song was. It felt like the fucking maxi-single to me.

29)Yes I will fuck you, but only for 10 grand. More if you're ugly. So basically, more.

30) DO NOT come into the club looking for a girlfriend/date. It's like me going to PETA looking for a steak.

31) Girls--what's with the pole smell? Can we do a little hygiene check? Nothing than worse than twirling around the pole and getting a whiff of stale pussy.

32) Girls--stop lip-syncing to the song you're dancing to on stage. Especially if you don't know all the words.

33) Girls--if your toes curl and hang over your platform shoes a la' Fred Flinstone, you need to go up a size.

34) Girls--drowning yourself in Angel perfume is just as bad if not worse than the BO you're trying to cover. Take a goddamn shower, you smell like lapdance funk.

35) Hey DJ! You suck!

36)Girls--may I suggest complete sobriety before getting tatted up? Tattoos should be meaningful, or at least semi-meaningful, or at least semi semi-meaningful. That fucking dancing llama on your ass is so lame.

37)Girls--some songs just should not be stripped to. Please. No Disney soundtracks (you know who you are, you fucking weirdo), Sade, Boys II Men, or Bjork. For the love of God, Please.

That was really funny, Im sure lots of them feel that way. Awesome.

Hey you, whore. rub your fat ass against my dick, take the cash and shut the fuck up.

haha i think kiwis got it right! lol

She needs bitch slapped and an industrial dose of Midol !

These are not as good, but here are some message board highlights for a club I know of located on the ghetto border:


Ex Dancer: r's would be ok if one of the owners was'nt an a hole. He fired all of his money makers now he is left with trash. I hear most of the girls are from the
cheetah club and have streatch marks and bullet
wounds. Im sorry but when paul was there we had
much more fun and kept the customers rolling in if
you go down stop through on a tuesday when tommy
is there, he is the best

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WOW.... thats all i gotta say, sure yall remodeled the bar but the bitches need an upgrade as well. Im so sorry to see the attitude having, broke ass, stretch mark, war wound, prostitutin ass broads in this nice looking club. You could be a decent franchise if you took out the trash. No offense to the ... Hmmm... 2 or 3 nice girls there but cmon get real with these cheetah club/ toms chics. And there attitudes suck dik along with there filthy mouths.. trust me i know ! !

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i am a dancer and iam from out of state. If any dancers are wanting info this place is a crap hole the girls are ugly and calling them hoars is to nice for them. The girls there are worse that white girls that do drugs. the girls with rob you and do anything you want for $10 lap dance which is pathetic. learn how to make money not get another std especially this girl Beauty she is a piece of s*** and there is no $$$ there unless you do you know what for$10 get beat up by guys that want to pimp you. get a real job and do something with your life besides opening your legs.

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This place has gone black. The dancers will rub your rod and put there hands all over you during laps. I was offered anything I wanted for $200 outside club. Also, I thought the city had a rule about thongs??? I sat in amazement as girl after girl exposed ass cracks - some even lowering g-string to expose partial pussy. Things got wierd when a DJ (I thought was a man at first with a dew rag on) walks around club talking over songs as girls dance. Something about "dollar dance" which I still don't understand. Was this a contest? All shapes and sizes can be found here but I won't be back! This club is out of control.