10. In contrast to the unimaginative, alliterative cliches that pass for most pornstar names, her name actually describes the method by which she typically gets laid.

9. The invaluable training she gave Justin Tuck for increasing his neck and upperbody mass.


8. The thickly plastered layer of foundation and powder that lends her face the folksy, rural charm of a dried applehead.

7. She makes me grateful that my Nana had the good fortune to get Alzheimers before she decided to put "launch my own porn site" at the top of her "Bucket List"

6. Her ability to walk upright with [insert any male xpt reg's name]'s tongue up her ass.

5. Her indiscriminant use of the smiley icon.

Quote:

---

neat
thats on my dead moms birthday

---

4. The numerous bulges, folds, and crevices on her body offer a variety of fuckable orifices to her "male talent" [ ie. the shift supervisor at Wal-Mart that gives her a lift home every night ].

3. The thinly disguised anguish behind every self-effacing "lol" she types.

2. Her miraculous transformation from...

to...

[ my apologies if I placed those photos in the wrong order Pretty ]

And the #1 thing I love about Pretty Pleads...

1. Her Abs!