Here's why they didn't respond: WALL OF TEXT = BAIL.

ever jammed up a shredder with too much paper? yeah. two or three sentences tops or you overload their heads- the better looking ones anyway. if they read your whole essay, it means they have too much time on their hands, meaning you will NOT want to fuck what shows up at the door. if you want a janine garofalo unibrow type, you write a mile of poetry. if you don't, don't.

second and biggest problem: higher quality girls you'd actually want to pork aren't scanning guy ads- they're sitting on their ass waiting for bites on their own line. this goes back to the cave man days.

solution: persistence, and according to Mia, AXE body spray.