I moved to Century City about 3 weeks ago. I don't like going out to clubs because they're too loud and I don't drink, although I belong to 420 club. Anyway, I placed an ad on Craigslist day before yesterday under "Adult Gigs." Only two women responded. I was surprised. Below is the ad. I would appreciate feedback because the ad is serious.

"Los Angeles professional seeking dancer for private, full-contact nude lap dances in my home. Would like to entertain dancers 2-3 times a week. $250 for a 30-minute session. As long as you're 18 or older, age, race and cup size are not important. If you wish to stay longer or offer additional services, we can adjust the compensation accordingly.

Also seeking someone to perform light work in the nude. I'm not seeking a maid, just someone to straighten the pillows on my bed, mix a drink for me, sit in my lap while I watch porn or a game on TV, take showers with me, model lingerie I buy for her, that type of thing. Would like for you to come in at least once a week. $500 an hour. Extra compensation if you're into anal or can stay for an entire afternoon or evening.

Since I work from home, I am flexible in scheduling. Curvy women welcome.

I am 32, white, handsome, hung, green eyes, brown hair, 6'4", 225 with nice arms and abs. I am 420 friendly, disease free and HIV negative.

If interested, please send photo and days that work best for you. Photo does not have to be nude. If there is interest from your photo, we can exchange additional info. Also, if you'd like, we can meet in public for coffee or a drink to make sure the vibe is right."

I don't know.

You sound like a charming sophisticate to me.

Fucking picky whores, why not just go through an agency.

...because you sound like a cop! You have ENTIRELY too much to say in your add, and any whore worth her salt would smell the sting WAAYYY before she felt it. In particular...

"full-contact...$250 for a 30-minute session...additional services, we can adjust the compensation accordingly...work...$500 an hour. Extra compensation if you're into anal...

...You want to pay a girl to come over and kiss you, use the K.I.S.S. method...

-Keep It Simple Stupid

they probably think either its A) too good to be true
and B) a sting

maybe contact girls directly with what you want, use your local whore boards to search reviews or girls' sites and find one who offers what youre looking for?
alot of girls wouldnt contact you on that ad i think cause of the 420 friendly reference, the prices youre willing to pay (whorings more n more a buyers market lately) and the simplicity of the work described
in short, yeah it sounds too good to be true
girls are used to getting haggled on their prices, asked for all sort of acrobatic sexual feats for bottom dollar, and being given teh runaround for references and whatnot
your ad sounds like heaven to a CL whore, so its probably being dismissed as a joke, or LE
im sure it and you are sincere, idaho, but girls are way more skeptical now and the whole hobbyist whore thing has gotten very jaded
its a shame
im sure any girl trolling CL in your area would have a great time with you lol you sound like alot of fun, but i dont know that youll get any quality responses
maybe ask burg for pointers on how to better approach this or reccomendations on girls that you might call? hes an invaluable resource on this very subject idaho

hope this helps

love, pretty

suck for dollars pretty.

Here's why they didn't respond: WALL OF TEXT = BAIL.

ever jammed up a shredder with too much paper? yeah. two or three sentences tops or you overload their heads- the better looking ones anyway. if they read your whole essay, it means they have too much time on their hands, meaning you will NOT want to fuck what shows up at the door. if you want a janine garofalo unibrow type, you write a mile of poetry. if you don't, don't.

second and biggest problem: higher quality girls you'd actually want to pork aren't scanning guy ads- they're sitting on their ass waiting for bites on their own line. this goes back to the cave man days.

solution: persistence, and according to Mia, AXE body spray.

May I suggest something along the lines of:

Quote:

---

I'm a generous Sugar Daddy, drug, disease and issue free. You are a model-quality Sugar Baby looking for long term support.

Please take advantage of my good nature. Reply with photos, etc. etc.

---

You sound like a fucking narc... 420 friendly! lol Have some common sense. 99.9999% of these girls are slangin' dope or hooked on it, and their level of paranoia will only make them believe that you are either:

1) a fucking narc
2) a chainsaw rapist
3) a 6 foot giant rapist-narc

Get a clue, and make a simple ad. Buy a video camera and call it a porn shoot. Under-promise and over-deliver.
Keep it simple, and don't over-complicate the deal.

man it sure is nice not having to pay for sex.