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Tommy Lee thought he’d done it all. The drugs, the drink, the Pamela Anderson.

But now one of his employees has gone one better, as photos emerge of him groping up a lady’s big boobs. While flying a blimmin helicopter!

There are some things you do not want to hear over the pilot’s intercom while you’re flying. “Tell Cheryl I love her,” is up there. And now we can add: “Good morning, passengers. My name is Captain David Martz and I am your pilot today. We’re currently flying level at three to four hundred feet, and I’m sucking on a porn star’s tit”.

Pilots face many challenges during the course of their working day: making flight plans, maintaining the aeroplane in a safe and level flying position, deciding whether to have the lark’s tongue or swan’s neck for their cockpit dinner.

Well spare a thought for helicopter pilot David Martz, who has to deal with all of this while at the same time wrestling with a massive pair of pornoknockers. For some reason, photos of this inflight titty-grobbling are causing Martz some problems. Which we don’t get - he’s a hero of the skies as far as we are concerned.

And it seems that the Federal Aviation Authority (the American skypolice) agree with us, because according to TMZ they were “well aware of the escapade and did nothing”. (Not quite true. They actually sent him a cake in the shape of boobies and a letter asking him to “tell us next time you’re gonna do that shit, dude!!!”).

Now the story’s out, though, and the FAA is backpedalling. A spokesthing called McNamara told TMZ that there was“no proof that Martz was flying at the time that the photos were taken”.Whoops. Even Martz himself won’t help them run that line:

“As for McNamara’s claim there was no proof Martz was in the air, you can see the horizon in one of the photos, and you see the airspeed indicator showing the chopper is doing 60 knots (approximately 70 mph). As if that’s not enough, we called Martz this morning and he freely admitted he was flying at the time the photos were taken — he says he was 300 - 400 feet in the air.”

Martz, who handles Tommy Lee’s chopper when he wants to get it up, gets the last word: “It’s no big deal. That’s how we roll”.

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