Hitachi Magic Wand Massager ($37), rated five O's at Amazon. Billed as a "muscle massager," but Hitachi knows damn well why they sell so many. Especially ideal for the girl that waits for kickoff to begin machine gunning every question she saved up all week to ask, or worse, fires up the vacuum cleaner in a passive aggressive "no i always vacuum on sundays" fit. Next time she stamps her little feet, this may just take the edge off.