The impact that porn, and a place like XPT can have on one's life is often subtle and insidious, slowly driving you nuts while infiltrating your otherwise normal, wholesome thought process.

I saw a recent episode on the History channel about Vlad the Impaler and that period of Romanian/European history in which he lived....during the whole freaking show, EVERYTIME they flashed Vlad's picture a little voice inside me went "Cleetus! Cleetus Van Damme!" I was alone of course but still felt, for some reason, embarrassed. I realized at that moment I will never be able to read about that period of Romanian history again without thinking of our dear friend and "deviated prevert" (sic) CLEETUS.....

Same goes, now, for Sesame Street....when my cousin's 3 year old twins are over for an extended visit and I have the "children's television workshop" (aka Sesame Street) blaring from the plasma, I cant watch any Zoe Monster skit without also imagining a 31 year old, semi-hott, bored, sexually deviant, meth-loving, butt-hole stretching MILF from frigid Ohio named Gigi Kerkove walking around her house half nude with a anal butt plug in her ass so that her "Loving" husband can come home and, at moment's notice, slip his penile appendage effortlessly into her poop hole. I see Zoe teaching Grover and Harry Monster about the concept of sharing and immediately my thoughts whisk to images of Gigi sucking off a couple of UPS delivery men (aka "Grover & Harry Monster") in her foyer 30 minutes before her kids get home from skewl.

I'm Possessed!@!!

I just learned something because I always thought Cleet's av was Rasputin.

Wow, 2 days have gone by and Darrah hasn't asked who Cleetus is?