It is a nice night here in Dayton, I rode the motorcycle to the meeting. There were 12 alcoholics tonight, not including George, who stopped by before going to the Intergroup business meeting. Several of our members go to the Intergroup meeting, so attendance is a bit thin the second Thursday of each month. We had two visitors, and one, Ted, got a 3 month token. We only went 50 minutes tonight, as the crowd was thin. One of our senior members, Bob P., is moving to assisted living under Hospice, he is dying from the same kind of cancer that took my dad. Bob sounded upbeat on the phone, and we will visit him periodically.

Step Six - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Understand most of the people tonight have a lot of sobriety, so we explored this initially nebulous step from the point of view of sharing what has worked in the long haul. The attached file may give a better view of 6 from someone starting out. Tom opened the meeting and discussed how he believes God will not do for us what we can do for ourselves. I don't totally subscribe to this, but for Tom, it's working well. He says the step is a call to action, to work on strengthening character. I think Tom uses the program as a Higher Power in this case, and reduces defects by following the spiritual path of A.A.

Several of us said we realized we cannot do this alone. Hank shared about how he first tried to guide the process, to choose which defects to work on, which to keep, etc. That does not work. Our Higher Power, or life if you will, has a way of directing which problems need attention. After a few years of trying to beat ourselves pure, we discovered we needed to cool it a bit, to be willing to let things take their natural course. We learn we do not need to seek out problems, they will appear in time. We also realized we would not become perfect, or anywhere near, even though perfection is the unachievable goal.

Hank said this is one day at a time for him, and he does this as part of his morning program. He shared about the frustration of trying to find a better way, a deeper insight into the steps. And he sought out oldtimers, changed sponsers, and still kept hearing the same answers. Ah, it isn't a battle, it is life.

I spoke of how these are the things that will get us drunk. I used to set myself up for emotional turmoil, so I could have a reason to drink, so I could drink guilt free. I wanted a reason. I'd piss you off, and make you give me a reason. Or a myriad of other behaviors, and I needed to get these habits of 15 years tamped down if I was to stay sober. But after 18 years sober, I have found out how much I can get away with. This is another challenge, to keep myself moving forward, to keep the cycle of sloth, guilt, sloth, fear, etc. from becoming a giant snowball rolling downhill. In some ways, I have learned about myself through my failings, and accepted my humanity.

I always share about 6 and 7 that I know what my fellow A.A.s were like before because I've heard their stories, and I know them as wonderful, dependable people today, so these steps do work. And I ain't the assshole I used to be.

John paraphrased a saying he heard that we alcoholics are like other people, only more so. I love it! Yes, we get on emotional benders, when it would be reasonable to be this angry, we get t h i s a n g r y. He shared about how he knows everything, and was so glad when the election was over, because it was driving him to anger. He was dismayed when he discovered politics goes on. John is big into serenity, and he is called to this step when something messes with his serenity. He strives to be "right sized".

I had mentioned how it was sometimes difficult to delineate which is depression, and what is a character defect. Another member shared about her eating disorder, and how it is probably both, but it doesn't matter, she knows what actions she needs to take. Well, I heard what I needed tonight!

Our other member in attendance tonight with 30+ years shared that she gets frustrated when she finds herself going backwards. To hear these long timers express occasional struggles with 6 and 7 lets me know that this is just life, and that's what she shared about, that she will never be non-human and perfect, but she can be a good person today. That's what it's all about.

We approach this from a fairly generic position, allowing those with faith in the metaphysical, or those who do not believe in a Diety, to gain insight and grow. And, stay sober. John hit the nail on the head when he mentioned the old A.A. truism that if you sober up a horse thief, all you have is a sober horse thief, who will eventually drink again. Step Six means more than that now, but that is surely a good beginning.

FYI, no one mentioned them, but some folks look at the seven deadly sins. They are: Lust, envy, gluttony, sloth, greed, anger and pride. I don't find much use for the list, as the root of a lot of my trouble is fear and ego, and loss of control.

Next week, Step Seven - Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Keep comin' back!

-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy