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#389820 - 01/12/09 12:38 AM
AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Pervert
Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 2058
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As I browsed Gia's great AVN '09 pics today, I started to wonder, "what would Conky say" to the pics, if he was still around? I thought, do I dare attempt a tribute to the man's Camera Of Death threads that hang immortalized in these halls, at the risk of the intent being misunderstood as cheap imitation? This is my small attempt to begin to pay back for all the times I laughed my ass off in a Conky CoD thread. I do realize I'll never dunk like Jordan, and nor will I attempt it - I'm just happy enough trying to even play and hope it's good for a few laughs.
This is for Conky. 
Do you see her? Holy shit!
"I can't believe it! Best New Anal Gape Discharge Swap Starlet! They love me! They really love me!"
Best Kiss In A Unic Feature - Buck Angel (with Tera Patrick)
Best Kiss In A Dyke Feature - Bellary Skank (with Jenna Haze) in Not Boys Don't Cry XXX
The Chasey Lain From-Hot-To-Shot Golden Pipe Award - Jesse Jane
The Vanity Crossover Of The Year Award - Sunset Thomas
Joking around about how Jett went out? "Ohh... NOT cool."
Real dolls filling empty seats. Can you say product placement?
Just hari carey, mary.
"I really had two options - shoot porn, or a gig standing on top of a wedding cake."
lolz - invizible cock!
Don't look so relieved - OJ would dig a tunnel with his bare hands if he found out you lived.
Some mother wandering the halls looking for a lost kid.
All the spray paint in the world won't hide the ugly.
Before porn. After porn.
"Nevermind Flynt. Look at ME! GO TIME!"
Whiskey - Tango - Barbie.
"Help. Me."
Bababooey and Beth, representin'
Do you see it? Holy shit!
lolz - im in ur invizible chalk line, practicing my overdose!
"Search warrant? ... For what? ... In my basement? ... Who told you that?"
"five sleepless nights of xanax, mdma and champagne equals proper bender, love."
"I'm ready for you Nick - drop teh loadz!"
"It's so weird. Every time I try to think, nothing happens!"
Goodbye!
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#389821 - 01/12/09 01:34 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Decent attempt, Mr. J, definitely worth the effort.
This picture enrages me for some reason, i think perhaps the self_satisfied looks of <Burg's exaggerated Italian elocution> ROCCO SooooFREDeeee and a few of the other morally bankrupt, financial overachievers really irk me. They think they just got the world by the ballz, filming trannies and sluts getting their asses filled with cum and then shitting it out for the world to see. Fuck that....
Tricia, however, looks very pretty, and i never realized she possessed such a bountiful rack. Still, I'm Glad Holly randall never chose Manuel F to plug her holes, there is little room in that "man's" heart for anyone except himself and his bulbous uncut sick_looking dick....that suit clinches it. And who are the two bimbettes in blue? Rocco's feeling his dick through his pocket....
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#389823 - 01/12/09 05:41 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 08/07/08
Posts: 64
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Quote:
Best Kiss In A Dyke Feature - Bellary Skank (with Jenna Haze) in Not Boys Don't Cry XXX
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#389824 - 01/12/09 09:33 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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This thread approved, thank you Mark!
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#389825 - 01/12/09 10:24 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Pervert
Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 2058
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Quote:
I'm Glad Holly randall never chose Manuel F to plug her holes, there is little room in that "man's" heart for anyone except himself and his bulbous uncut sick_looking dick....that suit clinches it. And who are the two bimbettes in blue?
I'd wear the anti-radar shit 24-7 if it meant getting the kind of action his anteater sees. Whores in blue are Jenny Hendrix, Nikki Jayne.
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#389828 - 01/12/09 12:36 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/30/08
Posts: 7599
Loc: a site known for its tolerance...
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Good job, Mark. I tried some funnies with the Pirates premiere and it was cricket-town. I bow to you sir....
_________________________
"I'll never forget the moment during the lovely Alyssa Allure's scene in 'American Bukkake' where the fellow got out of his wheel chair to ejaculate on her face. It was grotesque but had a certain frisson." -Sock
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#389829 - 01/12/09 01:54 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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See what you can accomplish when you're not shilling? Nice job.
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#389831 - 01/12/09 05:42 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
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First time I've seen a photo of Taylor Whale in quite some time. Now I know why.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
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#389832 - 01/12/09 06:04 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 323
Loc: Back in Gia's camera case
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Quote:
Decent attempt, Mr. J, definitely worth the effort.
This picture enrages me for some reason, i think perhaps the self_satisfied looks of <Burg's exaggerated Italian elocution>ROCCO SooooFREDeeee and a few of the other morally bankrupt, financial overachievers really irk me. They think they just got the world by the ballz, filming trannies and sluts getting their asses filled with cum and then shitting it out for the world to see. Fuck that....
Tricia, however, looks very pretty, and i never realized she possessed such a bountiful rack. Still, I'm Glad Holly randall never chose Manuel F to plug her holes, there is little room in that "man's" heart for anyone except himself and his bulbous uncut sick_looking dick....that suit clinches it. And who are the two bimbettes in blue? Rocco's feeling his dick through his pocket....
Blue on the left is Jenny Hendrix
_________________________
Me??? I HAAAATE unconditional love. It's like winning by default. --- Baby g
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#389833 - 01/12/09 06:15 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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i must truly be lesbionic, because i thought belladonna was the hottest piece of ass there. i love love love the hair.
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#389835 - 01/12/09 07:04 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
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#389836 - 01/12/09 07:05 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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Quote:
Quote:
i must truly be lesbionic, because i thought belladonna was the hottest piece of ass there. i love love love the hair.
Quote:
Why do you worship BellaVomit?
uh, i don't worship her. what makes you think that? she's one of my favorite performers (or was, when i watched the porn), but i think you are confusing me with gypsy. this is just the prettiest i've seen her. she has an odd look to her... this hairstyle/makeup, etc. is very flattering.
Quote:
Do you secretly wish that someone could sneak a fully clothed, freshly-fed, Gary Coleman up your butt without lube and you not notice?
dude, what does that even mean? are you insulting me?
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#389837 - 01/12/09 07:32 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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#389839 - 01/12/09 07:57 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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#389841 - 01/12/09 10:44 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 08/07/08
Posts: 64
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Quote:
Like who is Tricia?
Tricia Devereaux, HIP positive porn star from the late '90s. She directs now.
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#389842 - 01/13/09 02:33 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
Quote:
Like who is Tricia?
Tricia Devereaux, HIP positive porn star from the late '90s. She directs now.
See Tricia...at least one person appreciates your fashion sense and taste in clothes. 
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#389846 - 01/13/09 09:34 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 11/22/08
Posts: 857
Loc: Northeast US
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the little boy in that pic is a young Brandon Iron. Got the same goofy smile, and receding hairline.
_________________________
You just want to do a scene with me, so I'll make you look straight. - Gia Jordan to Stevie Why?
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#389848 - 01/14/09 06:55 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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"Doctor, I'm in Vegas and can't come in to your office- would you say I have a yeast infection or the clap?" "I was just getting a little gloss to put on my lips" "I was giving him a blowjob in the bathroom and like, totally forgot my false teeth on the toilet tank" (The blonde, under her breath) "If I catch you looking at her tits one more time you will walk back to Chatsworth" Girl in back: "It's easy sweetie, just lean your ass a little to the left and sneak that fart out and no one will know. Hey you got a panty shield?" "Yo Tone! I herd you wuz da bitch dat robbed da bukkake boyeee" "Did you say pull the white one?" "Two missed calls? I thought I'd hear it ring in my pussy. I really need a clutch"  Tons of great pics here.
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#389850 - 01/14/09 07:06 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Bravo, B!
BTW, Angelina Valentine is Sofa King hot. Is this one of your pics, Gians?
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#389851 - 01/14/09 07:17 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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"I'm sorry Mr. Jeremy, there's been a slight problem...We misplaced your order to sell the Lehmans"
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#389852 - 01/14/09 07:25 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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"So anyway, Jenna said you have to tap your arm like this to get the vein to stand up first....HEY! Are you listening to me?" 
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#389855 - 01/14/09 09:52 PM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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You should have left your original post. The math problem was nice.
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#389859 - 01/16/09 11:16 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Human Garbage
Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1621
Loc: Hell
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Quote:
and I think Jenny Hendrix is awfully cute. 
New boobs. 
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#389860 - 01/16/09 11:41 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 4468
Loc: Great America
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Quote:
Funny stuff 
and I think Jenny Hendrix is awfully cute.
whos the whore with the hairy crotch??? ID please
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#389861 - 01/17/09 01:21 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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#389862 - 01/17/09 02:05 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
whos the whore with the hairy crotch??? ID please
Looks like she’s falling asleep.....and judging by the pussy....red and swollen...she must have just finished a very intense scene or did a hell of a private with one of her fans!!!
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#389863 - 01/17/09 02:59 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
faith leon?
I don't think so...the redhead next to her is definitely Faye Valentine (nee Regan) though.
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#389865 - 01/17/09 06:33 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/10/06
Posts: 1487
Loc: NYC
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Quote:
Quote:
faith leon?
I don't think so...the redhead next to her is definitely Faye Valentine (nee Regan) though.
I think Georgia Jones, but I'm not entirely sure.
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#389866 - 01/17/09 07:50 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
I think Georgia Jones, but I'm not entirely sure.
It is Georgia Jones. Someone buy her a purse.
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#389867 - 01/17/09 10:30 AM
Re: AVN '09 - What would Conky say?
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
It is Georgia Jones. Someone buy her a purse.
Damn...I wish I'd thought of that line.
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