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#388742 - 01/08/09 12:49 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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I wasn't aware Africa had laws or newspapers. Do they too have a Center For Disease Contol I'm not aware of??
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"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#388743 - 01/08/09 01:01 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Pervert
Registered: 12/26/07
Posts: 2056
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Don't know about that but they have a president who has the ability to magically cure AIDS. Quote:
President Jammeh, who says he can also cure asthma, made his announcement to a gathering of foreign diplomats last month.
"I can treat asthma and HIV/Aids... Within three days the person should be tested again and I can tell you that he/she will be negative," he said in a statement.
"I am not a witch doctor and in fact you cannot have a witch doctor. You are either a witch or a doctor."
Gambian Health Minister Tamsir Mbow says the herbal medicines are taken orally and applied to the body.
"We cannot actually tell you the type of herbs we are using presently, it will be known to the whole world later on," Dr Mbow told the BBC.
One of the patients currently undergoing the treatment is Gambian university lecturer Ousman Sowe.
"I've noticed I've increased weight substantially over the last 10 days. I am no longer suffering from constipation, but we have yet to receive result of the tests," he told the BBC.
"I have 100% confidence in the president and I'm taking the medication with all confidence."
There was also another African president who could cure AIDS but only on Tuesday afternoons if I recall correctly.
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"If you keep making fun of me, I might just get pissed and not post on here anymore. Start taking me seriously. I'm a student now" Fatja
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#388744 - 01/08/09 01:14 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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He should add the San Fernando Valley to his list of foreign affairs. Say monday 11:59 p.m?
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"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#388745 - 01/09/09 11:47 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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Namibian Mortuary Attendant Rapes Corpse "By the time the police officers got to the suspect’s residence to fetch him and the key, they found him there. They walked him back to the mortuary, where they found the dead body of a woman lying on the floor next to the mortuary trolley. On the site were also two used condoms, the police said. It appears the suspect failed to put back the dead body where he had found it." Corpse fucking isn't really that funny normally, but I view any sort of unfortunate or awful thing happening in Africa as hilarious.
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#388748 - 01/09/09 01:31 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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I love electric retard and hadn't seen that part of the site before. Thank you, freestylah. 
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#388750 - 01/22/09 11:01 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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Africa's Flying Toilets "Open defecation is widespread, and flying toilets, where people defecate in plastic bags and throw them away at night are the rule rather than the exception in many informal settlements. This is the way we live. We do not have toilets, and no place to safely dispose of our waste, said Nicholas Ambeyo. Because of this, and the lack of sufficient water, and the open sewers that run through our houses, we are at a risk of contracting diseases." Quote:
``More than 80 years later, access to basic sanitation remains out of reach for 546 million people in sub-Saharan Africa.
Can we please just get the Africans hooked on smoking? It would generate wealth for North America as well as helping to control the population of Africa. These folks seem to give less thought to reproducing than the stray cats behind my building do.
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#388751 - 03/05/09 01:41 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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Africa's Booming Genital Trade "Young men are attacked and their genitals cut off while they are still alive; children's throats are slit and their organs removed; and border-crossers are caught with bags containing human heads and sexual organs... These stories and more are contained in a horror report on the trafficking of human body parts in Mozambique and South Africa, which has unveiled a scary reality: body parts are frequently used in traditional medicine and there is a commonly held belief that such medicine is very powerful."
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#388752 - 03/05/09 02:06 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Pervert
Registered: 12/26/07
Posts: 2056
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First successful human heart transplantation was performed in South Africa just a few decades ago. The country also had its own space program before most developed European nations. Now they are cutting each other dicks for magic rituals, slaying members of different tribes with machetes and the leader of the dominant party in the country is a polygamist who protects himself against AIDS by taking a shower after sex according to his own words.
All whitey's fault, of course.
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"If you keep making fun of me, I might just get pissed and not post on here anymore. Start taking me seriously. I'm a student now" Fatja
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#388754 - 05/25/09 09:46 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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Nigerian Witches Afraid of Brooms link"One day, I took a broom to hit him and he started crying. Then I knew he was possessed by demons... Nigerian witches are terrified of brooms"... Children accused of witchcraft are often incarcerated in churches for weeks on end and beaten, starved and tortured in order to extract a confession... About 1,000 people accused of being witches in Gambia were locked in detention centers in March and forced to drink a dangerous hallucinogenic potion."
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#388755 - 05/29/09 08:36 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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Albinist Traffickers Hopped In Burundi "Witnesses have testified in the case of 11 men in Burundi, accused of the attempted murder of albino people and selling of their body parts. Police suspect the body parts are being sold in neighbouring Tanzania, for use in witchcraft... Our reporter says eight of the accused allegedly helped traffic albino body parts and desecrated a graveyard to take the parts of someone who was buried."
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#388756 - 05/29/09 09:11 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
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Negroes can be some really superstitious critters. It amazes me. I worked with one whose GF was a self proclaimed voodoo witch. He broke up with her and was telling us about the ordeal. The next day he had a tire blow out on the way home from work while driving on Rt. 76. He swore it occurred because of her and then stated that she must have known he spoke about her to us and that we should be careful repeating anything he said and then refused to discuss the subject ever again. He genuinely looked spooked(pardon the pun), especially since he was a work horse stock negro of large physical proportions from North Philadelphia.
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Fap, Fap, Fap
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#388757 - 05/29/09 10:26 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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Were either the boyfriend or girlfriend Africans?
It is a weird, funny story but it's about people from Philly...
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#388758 - 05/29/09 11:43 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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There is an older black man that lives in my city. He dresses in a black suit and an odd hat and walks the streets chanting quietly under his breath and shaking these carved "somethings" in his hand. The blacks that work for me scatter when he comes down the sidewalk because they are afraid of him. I asked them about it. "He be doin' voodoo, man. I don' want nunna that."
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#388759 - 05/29/09 11:50 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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Oh my. I have never encountered anything like that here. For some reason most of my black coworkers have been from Brazil or Guyana though. Don't know if that detail is signifcant.
Have you ever seen what objects he carries around?
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#388760 - 05/29/09 11:51 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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They are small stones or pieces of bone or glass or something. you hear them rattling but only see glimpses of white/almond color.
I'll catch a picture of him next time I see him around. (Then he'll probably hex me).
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#388761 - 05/29/09 11:52 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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@Bornyo: I'm thinking about this now and I can't think think of any white people superstitions that are parallel to what you mentioned, or even similar.
Can you?
EDIT: Try not to get hexed. Maybe you would be willing to be friendly with the guy?
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#388762 - 05/29/09 12:32 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Pervert
Registered: 12/26/07
Posts: 2056
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Well, conq we believe in diversity, gender egalitarianism and political correctness.
_________________________
"If you keep making fun of me, I might just get pissed and not post on here anymore. Start taking me seriously. I'm a student now" Fatja
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#388763 - 05/29/09 12:36 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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I'm not sure what you mean. I was just trying to poke Fiend for posting blatantly off topic.
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#388766 - 07/13/09 04:34 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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Slavery Persists In Rural Mauritania "Centuries of indoctrination have persuaded the Sahara's captives that slavery is religiously ordained -- slaves are taught that if they run away they will be barred from heaven. As a local saying puts it: "Paradise is under your master's foot." In some remote places a runaway will still be hunted down by nomad masters... Officially, slavery has long been abolished in Mauritania, but the law has never been enforced and there are an estimated 600,000 slaves, almost one in five of the country's 3.2 million people."
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#388768 - 02/21/10 04:15 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Pervert
Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 2141
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A call centre worker from Dunoon, Scotland is at the centre of a bitter power struggle
to take over the throne of an African tribe.
Glasgow-born Rupert Tackie, 35, reckons HE should be crowned king of the Ga people in Ghana - and plans to launch a daring leadership bid. King Tackie Tawiah III is the current ruler - or Ga Mantse - of the two million-strong people. But some leaders have called for his immediate abdication after branding his selection as "flawed".
And last night Rupert said: "I am resurrecting my family's stake in this tribe. I suppose you could say I am going to be a bit like William Wallace was to the Scots."
Rupert revealed he only learned he is a contender for the royal seat, following a trip to Ghana with dad William in December. He claims his uncle Samuel Tackie - who was next in line to the throne - was assassinated with POISON in 2000 before he had the chance to reign.
..."When I go over there, there will certainly be a fight."
He added: "I'll have people around me who would give their lives to save mine." Last August, there were calls in Ghana for King Tawiah III - aka Joe Blankson - to go.
Nii Amu Otia Penshiaku II - a tribal leader within the Ga - said: "The majority of people oppose him."
But a spokesman for King Tawiah vowed will stay. Charles Safo said: "Rupert Tackie's claim is not true." Last night, however, Rupert insisted he could still take over.
He was raised in Glasgow before moving to the sleepy seaside town Dunoon in 1988 with retired nurse William, 65, late mum Eunice and brother Joshua, 31.
Rupert had no idea the crown could pass to him until elders took him to their royal village near the bustling capital Accra two months ago.
He has already chosen a bride - Irene Kokoroko, 25 - from 30 hopefuls. And he hopes to have a coronation, followed by a tribal wedding, then a civil ceremony where he plans to wear a KILT...
<Source>
Attachments
471850-rup.jpg (10 downloads)
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#388770 - 03/01/10 10:06 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/01/08
Posts: 9782
Loc: Hillbilly Holler
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That's really really stupid !
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I may not know arse but I know what I like !
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#388771 - 03/01/10 01:20 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
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Congolese Townsfolk Spark Witchhunt clickQuote:
"People accused me of sorcery and my mother believed them. Look, here on my stomach. She tried to kill me with a knife. It really hurt and I cannot understand why my mother did it."
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#388773 - 03/02/10 06:12 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
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It is also more fucked up than all those other countries combined.
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I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
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#388776 - 03/08/10 04:42 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Tranny Whisperer
Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/02/03
Posts: 9221
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Quote:
Hundreds dead in Nigerian ethnic violence.
Quote:
They said villages had been attacked by men with machetes who came from nearby hills.
I can use that for my World Politics class since my assigned country is Nigeria and every week I gotta bring in 3 news articles about Nigeria: 2 serious and 1 cheesy.
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#388777 - 03/18/10 01:18 PM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Pervert
Registered: 08/05/05
Posts: 2116
Loc: Faber College
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This guy isn't African but he is African-American. The fun starts at about the 1:00 mark.
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It was a wonderful community with some very enjoyable members. But the vast majority were like German housewives circa 1943 prenteding that horrib;le smell wafting through their open windowsd was just the neighbors having a cookout..--Windsock
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#388782 - 06/09/10 05:45 AM
Re: Let's laugh at Africans thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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mugabe sent an ARK OF ENDANGERED ANIMAL PAIRS TO NORTH KOREA.
that's funny
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