Hello,

My name is John Harris, and I am a staff writer at The Onion, America's Finest News Source. I am selling a joke that I can't find a contextual home for. To be fair, it's less of a joke and more of a dated, Capote-esque cocktail party bon mot, but decidedly more feeble. The best one can reasonably expect from this item is a self-satisfied chuckle, such as can be observed issuing from someone wearing a turtleneck while reading the Harper's Index. If that didn't make you barf, please continue reading.

The item in question will be clearly hand-printed on a 3x5 index card and mailed to the winning bidder upon receipt of payment. It has never been used, and the buyer assumes all responsibility for any consequences that might stem from sharing this joke, including the dissolution of friendships and romantic relationships due to loss of respect. The bidding will start at $0.57 so I can at least recoup the cost of the stamp and the eBay listing charge.

Please keep in mind that, due to the nature of this item as well that whole aphorism about accounting for taste, this is very much a caveat emptor-type transaction. In other words, no refunds.

Thanks and happy bidding,

John harris

ebay link

Definately a sign of the times...

Oh and $0.57 is too much for Panz.

Why should he bid??

For a joke, AP can look in the mirror for free.

Current bid is $365.00. WTF

Could be just other members of "The Onion" bidding to make a better news story.

I think Monty Python probably tried this on TV thirty plus years back.