I've had some pretty shitty bonuses over the year: lunch at a chinese buffet and a pat on the back; gift card for $25; gift card for $15; a box of processed cheese.

Last year I received an impressive cash bonus. This year I received six times that amount. I'm not doing anything with it. It's going in the bank until XPT gets its very own fakefinancialadvisor.
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There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.