Jeff, how are you crippled? I just saw you on Halloween tearing up the dance floor. You're not even emotionally crippled and you can still run faster than Tony Malice.

Here's the deal, guys:

1) Da Burg is real. Not real like fake cancer, but real REAL. He took Pariah, Malice, and me out to dinner one night and watched me eat a hamburger without the bun.

2) Smelly Monkey is not Jeff. I don't know who SM is, so quit PMing me about it. It is one of those secrets of the universe that I INSIST on being answered on my death bed because that's when I believe all combinations of life are unlocked. That's what a dayshift stripper in Kentucky told me when I was featuring.

3) Shrinky Dinks is probably Darrah.
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K