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#377421 - 12/02/08 09:04 AM Help Me Write My Online Ad
IdahoArapaho Offline
Rob Black's Crack Pipe

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 50
Below is a draft of an ad I plan on posting on adultfriendfinder and alt.com. I've already joined the sites. Just need to complete my ad. It's basically a gonzo scene described on paper. Kinda long. Would welcome feedback on how to make it better and more appealing.

I am looking for submissive women who think they can handle a legitimate 12-inch cock. That is my true size. No lame measuring from behind the nutsack or anything like that. Just a tape measure on top of my dick. Here's what will happen. We start out with you kneeling in front of me sucking the tip of my cock, spitting on it, getting it wet and sloppy, stroking and squeezing, giving me a handjob with both hands, tugging my monster to life. After I'm hard, we'll take a tape measure and let you mark the inches on my dick so you know what it's like to have 8, 10 and finally 12 inches of cock in your tight, wet, quivering pussy. I then lay you across the bed on your back with your head hanging over the side. I throatfuck you until you're choking and gagging, covered in your own saliva and feeling my cock push past your tonsils and down your throat. That's when I flip you over, put you on your hands and knees and see just how good of a fuckslut you are. I fuck rough and hard, with lots of hair pulling, slapping, name calling and light choking, and my goal is to fuck you until the bed breaks, going balls deep for as long as you can stand it or until your screams of pain and pleasure disturb the neighbors. When your arms and legs are trembling too much to support you, I will grab your hair and ride you down onto the mattress flat on your stomach, shifting my hips so my cock plows into your G-spot on every stroke before busting into your womb, building a crescendo of sensations so strong tunnel vision develops and the outside world falls away. All you're aware of is my cock deep in you, deeper than any man ever before, and the realization your pussy is wetter than it's ever been. And it's then you realize this is what you're made for...servicing a cock like mine. I will ream you without mercy in every position you can imagine and then some. You will also sit on top of me, facing me, and ride up and down my full 12 inches, grinding your clit against my dick every tingling inch of the way until your juices are running down your sweet, sweaty thighs. You will nibble and suck my nipples and kiss me until we both have to break to breath. You will massage my shoulders while rubbing your breasts across my neck. At some point, I will put you on your back, spread your legs as wide as I can reach, pin your knees by your ears and fuck your pussy so hard your vision goes blurry, you feel as if your insides are being rearranged and you're afraid you're about to lose control of your bodily functions (it's happened to some women, but if it does, you won't care at this point). If you start to complain, I'll stick my cock back in your mouth and make you suck it until you forget what the complaint was. When I've finished destroying your pussy, I will straddle your chest, grab you by the hair and facefuck you until I shoot my load down your throat. You'll be able to feel the spasms from my dick as the hot cum shoots out, overflows your mouth and runs down your chin and onto your breasts. After that, while you're still covered in sweat and cum and your own juices, you will clean my cock with your mouth and we'll start over again until you cannot take another stroke. And so you'll remember me even more, I'll spread your ass cheeks with my hands and you'll guide my cock until the tip of it pops in your ass just so you can feel the incredible stretching and imagine the fullness. If you're into anal, you've got an unimaginable ass fucking coming your way that will leave your asshole raw, swollen, gaping and oozing cum. If not, it goes no further than the tip. I need only about 10 minutes to recover between fucks and can cum 4-5 times a night. I am white, 6'4", 225, green eyes, shoulder-length brown hair and have a six-pack so ripped you can trace each muscle with your tongue. If you think you are up for this, let me know. We can trade face/body pics by email.

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#377422 - 12/02/08 09:35 AM Re: Help Me Write My Online Ad
XPT RIP Offline
AC Cream Wannabe

Registered: 03/05/07
Posts: 529
too long. whores don't read.

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#377423 - 12/02/08 10:58 AM Re: Help Me Write My Online Ad
Anonymous
Unregistered


And when you do cut it, break up what you have left into paragraphs.

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#377424 - 12/02/08 03:55 PM Re: Help Me Write My Online Ad
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
You should try to include the words "Jabroni" and "Holocaust". Ya know, as filters.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#377426 - 12/02/08 05:46 PM Re: Help Me Write My Online Ad
Shrinky Dinks Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 11/24/08
Posts: 381
Paragraphs would help on the eyes.


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#377427 - 12/02/08 07:24 PM Re: Help Me Write My Online Ad
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
IdahoArapaho: you should join the chatroom. That's where all the poets go.

[18:59] * jt8282 (java@.IP) has joined #xptalk
[19:00] <jt8282> hey
[19:00] <jt8282> who wanna fuck

[17:53] * Becky (user@IP) has joined #xptalk
[17:54] <Becky> Hey, 19 year old female willing to talk to anyone!
[17:54] * Becky (user@IP) Quit (Quit: Becky)

[20:18] * mouthsex (mouthsex@IP) has joined #xptalk
[20:19] <mouthsex> hey roomies
[20:19] * mouthsex (mouthsex@IP) Quit (Quit: mouthsex)

[08:08] <guest> hy
[08:08] <guest> anyone here
[08:08] <guest> ?
[08:09] <guest> iim masturbating

07:19] <wizzard> Anyone fancy a poke?
[07:20] <wizzard> I'll use vaseline this time

[22:26] <trishaG> hello?
[22:28] <trishaG> anyone there
[22:28] * trishaG (java@IP) has left #xptalk
[22:29] * trishaG (java@IP) has joined #xptalk
[22:30] <trishaG> r u serious
[22:30] <trishaG> no one wants to talk to me

[17:57] * sexxy (horny@AU.IP) has joined #xptalk
[17:57] <sexxy> hi
[17:57] <sexxy> sup
[17:58] <sexxy> hello?
[17:58] <sexxy> im 20 and i want to hav sex with any thing or 1
[17:58] <sexxy> me cock is 26.45 cm long
[17:58] * sexxy (horny@AU.IP) has left #xptalk

[17:54] <ruff_rida> who wants it in the ass
[17:54] <ruff_rida> who wants to show me some titties

[00:02] <lovs_big_boobs> any girls
[00:02] <lovs_big_boobs> i hav a huge 8 inch erect dick
[00:03] <lovs_big_boobs> do u want 2 see it?
[00:03] <lovs_big_boobs> any large breasted woman?

[13:47] <bigstaff> hello?
[13:47] <barb_64> hi
[13:47] <bigstaff> hey
[13:47] <barb_64> do you like to play?
[13:48] <bigstaff> what games did you have in mind?
[13:48] <bigstaff> thats good to hear
[13:48] <bigstaff> i've got a boner... wanna play with it?
[13:49] <barb_64> do you role play?
[13:49] <bigstaff> sure do
[13:49] <barb_64> I'm 64 y.o and like to play my age and "family "scenes
[13:50] * bigstaff has left #xptalk
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#377428 - 12/02/08 08:38 PM Re: Help Me Write My Online Ad
wannacorndog Offline
Human Garbage

Registered: 03/14/08
Posts: 1613
Loc: Liqour Hole, Kentucky
Those barb_64 comments at the end had me rolling that was funny bro thank you
_________________________
Being Canadian is not a disease. It just feels like one. TUP

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