Integrity. I have it. Well, not as much as I used to have. I guess it is fair to say I have some of it. Even though it has been a while since I.....well, ok, I suppose I am in need of some more at this point in my life.

Let me start over.

Integrity. Title integrity. It's very important that a movie reflects what the customer thinks he is going to see. SHE'S HALF MY AGE, my friends, has oodles of title integrity. Just ask 20-year-old Alana James. You can't even buy this lass a glass but you can give her the most intoxicating of beverages for the barely-legal: baby batter.

Alana dropped by tonight to do her first performance on camera. You will see her at www.loadmymouth.com and SHE IS HALF MY AGE #9. Did I do right by all my pervy brethren? I certainly think so. My word is my bond. When I say I am going to corrupt the morals of women born around 1988, I mean it.

I guess....I guess I really do have integrity. "I love you, me." "I love you, too, myself."

So there you have it. When you think of integrity, I want you to think of me. Don't think of me as some ass-eating, toe-sucking, you-must-swallow-or-no-deal kind of guy. Think of me as you would other great men: Lincoln, Kennedy, that dude who spent 27 years in prison....Nelson Mandela.....and finally, ME. I've been in my mental prison for over 40 years now. Not one single letter, people. Not one.

This aggression will not stand, man!

She's definitely not passing the pencil test.

She passes all required tests: new and innocent; enthusiastic cocksucking that makes you remember Eden asking Al Borda, "Am I sucking your cock ok, Sir?" in 1996's Major Fucking Whore, and - most importantly - she passed her Smog Check.

I examined her tail pipe with my tongue and took some precise measurements. Alana James is running at peak capacity. She even has that new porn girl smell. So fresh. So delicate. I sniffed her taint and it was not the least bit tainted. As you are well aware of yourself, Gia, once a sprite young lady gets a few hundred scenes under her increasingly-notched belt, it gets a l'il bit funky in that region.

"T'aint so!" you say?

Just relax and enjoy this newbie with boobi......ezzzzzzzahhhhhh!!

My first thought was a young, Cosby Show era Lisa Bonet minus a chromosome (due to the Uma Thurman eye spacing). Then I scrolled down and saw the rack. Mama mia! Nice catch.

Great tits. Huge nips. Weird grill. Not yeti-bad though.

Reminds me a bit of rosario dawson

I was seriously thinking of retiring my membership, B, but you're doing good work again. Do this nazi a solid and book two girls for an episode or two. Thanks in advance....

I have plans for Alana that are bigger than her boobs.

Does that include Herpes?

No but I am still investigating this mouth to determine if anyone's health was put at risk. Safety first.

Her forehead scares the shit out of me. She has a nice body.

Either she has to start brushing her tongue or you gotta start washing your cock better.

and that face....my condolences!

Rosario Dawson...?
That's a retard lookin whore but I do like what has become Bi's signature pose..



She almost looks cute in a Downs sort of way.

Or maybe it's the twin Louzer "L" she's hangin.
I'll let you decide. I'LL LET YOU DECIDE.

Her tits are great, and her body is nice, other than that, she needs a heavy duty garbage bag on her head. And she looks so young, especially with that lame babygirl shirt.

As a 40 year old man, I can tell you without reservation that it's a joy to experience the oral efforts of Alana and her kind. Viva the sluts!

Yeah, nice body ...but she has a dwarf head.

A sturdy forehead makes for good leverage. All that bone mass. It's a sign of a well-constructed cocksucker.

I just got a call from the Klingon commander - they demand that she returns home so she can resume breeding directives.

Fuck the Klingons. Give me cling-on's any day. Those individual pearls of anal wisdom that detached their umbilical cords to break out on their own and stick to the underwear of pretty young things. Skidmark my words, they are hot hot hot.

She must've come to see you right after or before I shot her for the AIM calendar. She was wearing the same outfit and everything. If I'd known, I would have warned her...

I kid, I kid. She's cute, but she would look a lot better with bangs.

Holly, I hope Alana informed you she only works with me now. I'm pulling a desperation grab on this sweet meat and staking my claim. I'm acting like an overprotective father....awww, shucks.

Update: She just sent me a crazy video breaking up with me and doing the Beyonce dance to "If you liked it, you shoulda put a ring on it....whoh oh oh oh oh oh."

Love, why do you mock me??

OK, but cover up the 5-Head

You rate her head "5" but I've had it and give it a "9.5."