Usually when I watch the boob tube, it means something porn-related. Yesterday was different in that I was on Dancing with the Stars. No, not actually on the show. More like sitting in the audience with the lovely Kimberly Kane. We were lucky enough to get hooked up with front row seats to this popular tv show.

So I think this cements my drive to win some sort of Crossover-to-Mainstream Award this year. I will start writing numerous acceptance speeches right after I post this. My first will have to be to bigwigs like Jenna Jameson giving thanks for writing books and having billboards in Time Square with her photo blown up to King Kong size. It’s pioneers like Jenna who have paved the way for someone like me to appear on television to millions of people around the world.

I now know what Halle Berry meant in her 2002 Oscar acceptance speech when she said, “Oh my God! Oh my God! I’m sorry. This moment is so much bigger than me.” Yeah, Halle. I hear you. I, too, have finally broken a barrier. Finally, average white dudes everywhere can hold their heads high and aspire to be a seat-filler. I HAVE A DREAM!!!

Like Berry, I, too, would like to thank the Academy for choosing me to be the vessel for which His blessing might flow. Thank you. I did it for every nameless, faceless white man that now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened.

The door has been closed, too. For all my efforts sitting on my ass, not one single member of the 30-40 press contingent was interested in speaking to me. They must have mistaken Lance Bass, who is on the show, for me.

I think my accomplishment will be for history to judge. It hasn’t yet sunken in with me yet, either, so it’s ok, America. I’ll wait.

Dancing With the Stars: teaching young women to dress sexy and shake their bon-bons for men to jack off to mentally. Have no fear! The next generation of strippers is on its way.

Where are the pictures of you posing with the 'stars' of the show? I kinda miss these.

I Love 'Dancing With The Stars'!!! I've only watched the Australian version but I love seeing the outfits the female celebrities wear. Some of the female dancers are so hot as well! One of the Australian dancers Kym Johnson has been in some of the american shows

Kimberly and I joked that some of the more revealing outfits are borderline softcore pornwear. Seriously. There was a woman with a military outfit that had the entire crotch area revealed.

I was and still am Gereralissimo of Brandon Iron Productions. No one, not even David Joseph, can change that.

I don't fuck people over. I don't tolerate liars, thieves, or apologists for same.

The outfits are awesome!!! Yeah I think porn is just about the only other place you'll see outfits like they wear on Dancing With The Stars
Porn is fantastic - not just for the sex but seeing really beautiful women dressed up so glamorously, Apart from ballroom dancing there aren't many other options to admire women in all their gorgeousness

Brandon doesn't own a television. He's got Flopsy and Teh Herp. Neither of which are HD compatible, much less relevant.

You have a forum Bi... off ya go.