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#375311 - 11/18/08 08:38 PM
Illiterate escort website copy
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 06/13/06
Posts: 611
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Lest you think stupidity is limited to porn whores, read the biography from a new escort's website (by new I mean newly independent, she's an ex-agency girl):
As the daughter of a renowned estranged artist, instilled in me is a more sensually abstract original approach to life. My heart lies over seas, though my formidable years were spent as a gypsy between continents. Highly educated, bilingual, inquisitive and entrepreneurial, I seek living life to the fullest. Only a true diva when in the buff… Otherwise I take on my environment whether in the ocean, on a mountain or in a boardroom with abundant feminine ferocity to conquer or delegate in a graceful manner. My quest for fun and adventure in the art of seduction titillates a provocative fascination to explore erotica on a different level… in a more anonymous way than many can comprehend or dare too. Natural beauty combined with sensuality, confidence, and intelligence enabled me to become the woman of art in the west and one of the world's most sought after VIP elite international female companion for the discerning gentlemen of equal desired attributes.
Explore my world. Get to know intimately my 5'8, 118lb, 34B 23 34 delicate athletic frame. Gaze into my soulful twilight eyes and caress my silky copper mane, dewy soft skin and hear my tantalizing murmur...
As an independent entity and business woman, I choose to speak in the first person as a real person and one who may fulfill your deepest desires and most fantastic fantasies. I welcome you to voyeur into my secret soul through these pages to feel close to something that may have escaped you until now. I will look forward to meeting in the future when your time permits and getting to know you in the meantime by simple letter in regard to arranging our exclusive fantasy date.
*cackles* 
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#375312 - 11/18/08 09:02 PM
Re: Illiterate escort website copy
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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As I read the above with my soul opened to the energetic possibilities of love energy formed between the bond of two people, I contemplate heartily the cost of such possibilities endless in the night scape of our forbidden rendezvous. To procure many services unending would be my immediate desire eternal. Where, pinupmutant, can I outreach to this blessed seller-of-flesh and offer her my monies for her abstract gypsy love?
P.S. Does she do anal? Is her asshole clean?
_________________________
"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#375314 - 11/18/08 09:36 PM
Re: Illiterate escort website copy
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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And what's with all these 'gypsy' references to herself? You would think that in a profession where the customer is always worried about whoring's reputation for dishonesty and thievery, you might want to reconsider such word association.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#375315 - 11/18/08 09:58 PM
Re: Illiterate escort website copy
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Popwhore has a pot smoking cousin who is in the same biz?
If I had to guess, I'd say she was once a child prodigy in something like Gymnastics or Ballet, maybe music, and either her Stepdad or Uncle fucked the shit out of her one cold winter night when she was 12 or 13, and subsequently kept her quiet for years by buying her all kinds of stuffed animals and shit.
Will she accept a copy of my latest tests from my doctor showing me to be disease free and heedlessly gobble my goop?
Is she bullimic and will she chew the dinner I make and coyly spit it out into her napkin and make 6 trips to the restroom during dinner? I think yesssssssssss
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#375317 - 11/19/08 03:24 PM
Re: Illiterate escort website copy
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Pervert
Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 2058
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Quote:
...My heart lies over seas, though my formidable years were spent as a gypsy between continents.
Right there in the first five words you can already smell the trouble ahead, with that self-important fake poetry drivel. I may have had respect if she'd just written "I smoke a lot of good shit, though my formidable years were spent sharing needles".
People with no poetic talent that try real hard anyway can be quite annoying if you ever get stuck in a conversation with one. They think their chem-tweaked brain's ability to stitch random words together to form abstract "ideas" amounts to some actual talent, poetic or otherwise. Best to politely ask them to STFU before they bury you in propaganda about the color orange being four dimensional, or the power of mysticism living within all of us.
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#375319 - 11/20/08 09:55 PM
Re: Illiterate escort website copy
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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Looks like someone got crazy with the Thesaurus.
_________________________
I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#375322 - 11/21/08 03:54 PM
Re: Illiterate escort website copy
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
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I think it is just shorthand for dumb as a post modern whore.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
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#375323 - 11/22/08 07:56 PM
Re: Illiterate escort website copy
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 06/13/06
Posts: 611
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Quote:
Iah Yamane
2hrs = $1500
Well I wasn't gonna say who, but God Bless Google Search. It used to piss me off when dudes wrote dumb shit to me, but I really think Random should send his missive to her and post her response (if she responds).
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#375324 - 11/22/08 08:06 PM
Re: Illiterate escort website copy
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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Jesus Keeeey-riiist, even her name is a pain in the ass. Everything about this whore is too much work. Isn't that contradictory to getting a whore?
She should just advertise as a pro-domme, so she can get away with all this pretense.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#375325 - 11/22/08 08:32 PM
Re: Illiterate escort website copy
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 353
Loc: Macomb mich
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hard to believe people will pay for it... jacking off is free!
_________________________
I love women really..... Sadly 20 minutes with one changes that opinion 100%
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#375327 - 11/25/08 10:13 PM
Re: Illiterate escort website copy
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 11/22/08
Posts: 857
Loc: Northeast US
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True. I paid Alanah Rae to LEAVE after a couple hours this weekend. Thank YOU Demi Dahlia!
_________________________
You just want to do a scene with me, so I'll make you look straight. - Gia Jordan to Stevie Why?
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