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I hate twitter and everyone on it. It's for brainless fucking trendoids with nary an original thought in their pretty little heads.


So you feel there's no critical information mankind needs for its survival in peoples' twitterific ramblings, like Suzie Q who at 11:42am announced to the world: "So my mom and me were just talking about whether to put the bridesmaids in order of height for pictures or not, because we'd have to ask Shelly (she's like REALLY tall!) to maybe wear flats instead of heels - but totally wouldn't wanna hurt her feelings. oh and my cat just got like this new collar and she like totally hates it, but its SOOOO cute! So much to think about people seriously like CRAZY. back in 9 minutes!"

While you may see mere sequences of letters masquerading as useless information, I say there must be something more to it - some veiled layer of codes and formulas to the universe, there for us to unlock if we'd only take a moment to look.