That's cause you're a very smart man, Im kinda envious of you. You should start one of those free workshops on "How to embarass someone or Tell them off w/certain Sarcasm 101", or "Ruin someone's life on a Pornographic Messageboard in One Day 101", cause you've only been here for 1 day and you are the master so far. I nominate you for poster of the year here. You are what I inspire to be.
Im not as smart as you so I wouldn't know what school or where to tell you to look first. Sorry master.