Dear Mrs. Obama,

Congratulations on your husband's speech. You looked amazing. We really appreciate you two recognizing that CHANGE is best spent on the wonderful $4,500 Balenciaga dress like you wore in the primaries. Btw, girl, we just got in a new shipment. I have set aside some size 12 Jimmy Choos for you. Just have your assistant call us.

Best regards,

Phillipe at Saks Fifth Avenue
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K