You could sand granite with Craigslist Ho's face, but her body looks fairly decent.

Conq, you should tell her that you're really interested in taking her up on her offer, but that you'll only seal the deal if she agrees to let you defecate on her during coitus. Tell her only real intellectuals are into poop play. If she freaks out, which if there's a god she will, her response could be gold.
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"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin