Eight Teen
Ate Teen
Let us ponder the deeper meaning of those 4 words as I write a missive to the Miss I miss the most.

Dear Nicole Ray,
Thank you for letting me suckle your sweet rosebud. Thank you, too, for gobbling the goo for www.loadmymouth.com. You are a (tee hee) ray of sunshine in an otherwise cloudy atmosphere of hookers, pimps, and used syringes. But enough about my living room.

I enjoyed pressing my lips to your anus and playing your butt like a fleshy tuba to be swaddled in my 40-year-old arms. Your birth in November 1989 heralded the start of the Nicolian Calendar. All dates prior to your birthday are now B.N.R. (Before Nicole Ray) and all dates after A.D.N.R. (Anno Domini Nicole Ray).

You are a delicate teen treasure for perverts everywhere to jack off to in their beds as you sink slowly off to Slumberland in yours.

Hush little baby, don't you cry
Daddy's gonna have an alibi
And if that alibi don't stick
Daddy's gonna pay for another trick
And if that trick refuses to swallow
Daddy's gonna make that whore's head hollow
Like Jeffrey Dahmer did to his sex zombie
Who would likely vote for Mitt Romney.

'Cuz Mitt Romney's economic policies are whack! I mean, improving America's global competitiveness by lowering the corporate tax rate, strengthening education, improving worker retraining, and repairing our transportation infrastructure? What was he thinking??!! His withdrawal from the Presidential race last February left the Republican Party in a shambles and allowed the McCain train to derail itself faster than a Metrolink engineer texting teenage boys.

My point? Vote Obama-Biden next month. And if there are any Obama mamas out there who swallow, contact me.

Sincerely,
Brandon Iron
October 14, 18 A.D.N.R.
Los Angeles, California