Mary Jane: 19 years old. A true free spirit pothead who is in communion with her wild side. Trying the porn thing but dreams of living in a hippie commune someday. I have never met a woman with a tattoo of a mushroom on her body who was not a fucking freak. Capitalize that: FREAK. She may crave a little greenery to expand her mind but you will be the one seeing God once she gets you hooked on the pink.

When The Doors sang The End, part of it goes like this:
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need of some stranger's hand
In a desperate land

I am typing one-handed, masturbating at the thought that perhaps Mary Jane's mom rode the seven mile long snake that Morrison talked about.

Like Mother, like Daughter? I sure as fuck hope so.
Welcome to the www.loadmymouth.com club, sweetie. You are a pervert's dream.

She should try eating more than jizz.

Like a sandwich or something.

I see your pictures are a lot smaller these days. Having trouble affording the bandwidth? Meds cutting into your online budget? You could probably get free scips if you went back to Canada.

She's only 19. Still growing. Has not learned not to talk to strangers, either.

have2shit: My computer crashed after visiting some links from the Ira Isaacs trial. Ooops....my mistake. Windows had to be reinstalled and I lost my program I used for resizing images. I'm using a different program now and I'm just learning how to use it.

Is this big enough for you?

Nice one!

I'd like to start a gallery called 'The Best of Acrylic Nails of Brandon's Abode."

Dyson or Oreck

No vacuum invented by man will pick up all those shattered dreams or smashed shards of dignity. You don't clean up the Abyss, sir. You stare into it.

I like her...and she isnt that skinny, she has some Mammalian Fat stored in the right places. But she may have an eating disorder nonetheless...I am not going to share how I know this, I just do.

I personally HOPE she doesnt get her boobs done, but in her case, she might actually benefit from a boob job. But that would not influence whether I'd allow her to visit my Burg-lair.

I hope, if she is a Bonerfide pothead, she knows enough to eat Chlorophyl, or take other measures to combat POTHEAD stank breath. One thing Burglar is TIRED TIRED TIRED (and sick of), is whores with Stank breath. Please....dont go to all this trouble to look hott, or act seductively, or talk filthy/nasty/raunchy to me in order to induce boners, and then RUIN it all by having putrid exhaling odors when we get close. I actually want to HIT whores with bad breath, there is NO excuse for it. I never have Bad breath...


Remember kids, it is the LITTLE things that matter in any relationship.

Everything coming out of this young lady smelled fantastic. She is an incense of ecstasy.

she may change her name to Mary Meth

I honestly believe that if more people got laid more often, the world would have fewer problems. Don't deny your urges. Give in to them.

Sony has made the world's oldest profession a part-time job for so many women who would never share their sexuality with the world. Thanks, Japanese dudes!

I think you are confused, sir. My movies don't have scripts.

Thank God for urbandictionary.com otherwise I would not know what "skint" means. I assume you approve of Eva Angelina as October 6th's update at www.loadmymouth.com? Mia Bangg (October 11th)? Kimberly Kane (October 19th)? Sorry I skipped over the other women who are less well-known.

Every other Saturday I spend seeking out needing pornographers in order to increase their vocabulary.

I think your time would be better spent on grammar.

What are you implying?

I am one of those "needing pornographers" who need an explanation. Puff puff pass, Snoop.

Getting back on point, who has the better asshole: Kimberly Kane or Eva Angelina? The advantage has to go to Kane because blondes generally have assholes with less hair. Eva has an amazing body, though, so I am saying it's a close contest.

First you stop posting the anus shot and now you're going to attack me using grammar as your baseball bat of choice? Fuck that, Brandon! Soon enough you will find yourself without my indispensable comments on your work!

I'd choose to suck on Kimberly Kane's anus but fuck Eva Angelina's. Preferably at the same time.

I have a small, private collection of asshole shots that are --- how can I put this delicately -- "special." Like a foot with 6 toes, some assholes stand out because of their over-wrinkliness. Others are in dire need of a good bleaching. Still others have soul patches of hair growing around the crater like weeds.

I only wish the advice from "Das Boot" would apply:
German UBoat sailor #1: Do you have hair in your nose?
German UBoat sailor #2: What?
German UBoat sailor #1: I said....Do you have hair in your nose??
German UBoat sailor #2: Uh...yes.
German UBoat sailor #1: Great! I have hair near my asshole. We should braid them together."

No, I'm not joking. This dialogue really did take place in a major war movie from 1981. War was hell but the real battles were fought nose to asshole in submarines 200 feet beneath the Atlantic.

Is this not the strongest evidence for a Gay Mafia in Hollywood? I think so. A Gay Mafia that infiltrated the Nazi war machine only to fall prey to their own perversions.

My treatise on cum-eating called www.loadmymouth.com is one man's attempt to get society one step closer to the paradise enjoyed by the Taliban in Afghanistan.

My point? Das Boot is a damn fine movie that was nearly ruined by Germans who were somehow more perverted than Steve Holmes. That says a lot, people.

You are wasting your time on pornography. That little piece right there tells me conclusively that you should be writing editorials for NY Times. Did you turn them down because you were not allowed to smell the asses of the editorial board's female section?

Yeah her feet must of smelled real good, all the whores posted always look like they need a scrub down first. Don't you have a shower they can use prior to shooting?

Yes, I offer a golden shower to each and every cum eater but it's usually declined. I said usually.

And she's not the original Mary Jane, the original is smoking hot and one sexy bitch. Quite popular, why did she steal her name? Ahhh let me guess, cause she like to smoke weed and thought that would be the coolest name ever.

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Of course I know she is not the only Mary Jane but my role is to aid this woman get to her knees not debate her choice for a stage name. You want to call yourself I.M. Pei-d? Go for it, you Louvre-loving oral architect. Get down there and design a cumshot on your tongue.

Mary Jane is a bad girl, lying on that loveseat without the spooge cloth.

Wrong! Her tongue is the spooge cloth.

Quote:

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I think you are confused, sir. My movies don't have scripts.

---

Sure they do:

Scene 01: Craigs List skank comes in.

Scene 02: Craigs List skank take infected load in the mouth.

Scene 03: Craigs List skank leaves $50 wealthier.

Can I get a re-write of Scene 03? My accountant says I need to trim expenses and I can't find anything else to cut besides your tongue from your head.

Now settle down there Mansewer. People might start to think you suffer from short man syndrome. What do you take lithium or thorazine, on top of the "others"? I say you need to up the dosage.

There's no magic pill to becoming a real man, have2cit. You can search all you want but you will always be plain....average....a dime a dozen dude referred to as Joe Sixpack once every four years in political speeches.

I can't live like that. I need more out of life. I need daily reassurance that the world does revolve around my penis. You know what? In my world, it does.