I do so appreciate your concern good sir, however I must remind you that I work "on the cheap" and tic tacs cost $$$. Free chicken, in/on the other hand, is both easily scored by taking said deathplant tour, and more effective as bait for the Lizards. It takes these dockworking yokels at LEAST an hour to shove 40,000lbs of meat into my ass end anyway, so I figure "the tour" as a great way to get some exercise, score some free bait, see some good quality death (I've learned so much already!), and of course, kill time (not my favorite kill by any means, but it'll do in a pinch). Now for the insider tip...save the chicken. DO NOT throw out the old rotten chicken, just give it to the more "rotund" variety of Liz. They never stop to look at it anyway, and they're MUCH easier to "take out" once the violent illness sets in. With the scrawny ones, I like 'em full o' spunk, but when the bigger girls start fightin' back, they do so as if they ACTUALLY have something to live for! Crazy, huh? (at this point I could make probably 47 different jokes about this post, but really, where would I start?) FUCK! I cannot WAIT to adapt these misadventures of mine to the "silver screen"! Y'all would watch that porn right?

-Keep It Dirty