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I named her so I take the blame.

Again, that's what is so fucking hot about having this girl-next-door on her knees. She is a pet you just took home from the pet store....no name....not housebroken.....just scared and vulnerable....shaking like a chihuahua.

That's ok, McSuckin.....calm down. Everything will be alright. Just put this soother in your mouth. Good girl. You're a cutie, yes you are! Yes you are!

How very different from some know-it-all 19-year-old whore who marches in on her Kiss-sized stilletos barking out commands to her agent on her cell phone as she brushes by your outstreched hand that you thought she would shake...as polite people do. She announces that she forgot her ids and in the same breath asks, "How long is this going to take?"

You think I'm joking? I'm not.

Give me McSuckin and her sweaty palmed hands anyday. Stop shaking, my little chihuahua. No one is going to hurt you. Sssssshhhhhhhh!!! There, there, my pet.

McSuckin has taught me the true meaning of unconditional love.

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